"hey do you know the date" "58"

What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

Doctor: I got bad news and worse news Patient: Whats the bad news? Doctor: You have 24 hours to live Patient: Whats the worse news? Doctor: Your mom died this morning

what is red with 2 legs? half a cat

So theres this Jew, right? He got shot to death.

Terminator XXXIVXXX Regensisysydioniosis. Watch as the terminators return in this year`s summer blockbuster, they return to a time before the birth of Connors grandfather and manage to destroy the world, then the only decision left is for humanity in another timeline to travel back as the terminators are destroyed, but they travel back again so that! But that wont happen before Terminator: Los Pollos Hermanos.

why was the little boy crying? He had dead mice shoved up his asshole.

Why do the lesbians where pants? Because they are extremely comfourtable and the best for cold days

Q. What do you call a black pilot A. A pilot

What is black and bad for your teeth? A cannon ball

Q. What do you call a child with no friends or family A. Adopted

What did the muslim say when he boarded the plane? Where is my seat

-knock knock -i'm not at home, go away!

SQUID DOMINATION!!! Squids WILL Take Over the World!!!

What's worse than finding a fly in your soup? Being raped... What's worse than being raped? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two flies in your soup

What do 10 dead babies in a blender sound like? Idk because I was too busy masturbating.

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

how many flys in a box six --sticksack

What ticks and makes a very loud noise? the bed

JUST KIDDING^

A Mormon walks into a bar.

Whats cold and frozen? ice

Hey there, I like bananas! No you don't.

What's black and white and red all over? The color spectrum. Along with other colors.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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