What do you call a man who has lost both his legs, one arm, and half his eye? Larry

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The teacher asked her class "What is 42 + 17?" Several hands were flung into the air. "71!" said Billy excitedly. "No, I'm sorry that is incorrect." said the teacher. "67!" shouted Carl at the top of his lungs. "Incorrect!" said the teacher. Then little Johnny raised his hand. "The answer is 69" he said full of intellectual delight. "Very good." said the teacher.

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Boxing on Boxing Day

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What did Osama Bin-Laden say on 9/11? JENGA!!!!

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What do you call it when you eat cheese that's not yours? Stealing.

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Where's my tractor?

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What do you say when you walk into an optical? "Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?"

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What's the difference between a Rabbi and a Priest? One's a Jew, one's a Christian

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I've lost my tractor!

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Why did The Chicken cross The Road? The Chicken was a new drug dealer to town and he did a deal with The Road , the town's existing drug dealer (they used these nicknames to hide their identities), but then back stabbed him to try and take the whole area for himself. Money and Power, as always.

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How do you get birds to land in your back yard? With a gun.

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How come Asian's are so clever? Their baby food is blended textbook paste.

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Why did the man eat his own shoe? Because it was a tissue box.

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Q: What do you call a girl with no arms or legs, is blind, has no parents, has cancer, and is dyslexic? A: Suzie

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What's worse than eating spinach? Dying.

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Jims family is having a picnic. Jim goes and gets his food. shortly after he drops his food. Jim is really sad and goes and gets more food. Jim is black

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What time is it when an elephant jumps over your fence? Actually, elephants don't jump.

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Let's play twenty questions. Alright, but I have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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A beautoful poem: Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun! gimme all your money!

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A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

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What do you call two babys with one head? I dont know either, answers on postcard please!

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why did the plane crash ? Because a loaf of brad was flying it, and Loaves of bread don't fly planes

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Why did the skeleton cross the street. He didn't.

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What didn't the artist buy at Best Buy? A Ziploc Bag full of AIDs infested zebra pubes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops