What's 9+10? 19

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Yo mama so stupid, she waited for the stop sign to say go

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What's 9+10 Ebola

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Roses are blue Violets are red This isn't humor The Hell's wrong with you?

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why did Sallt fall off the swings? she had no arms knock knock who's there not Sally

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Cheetahs run at an alarmingly fast rate for short periods of time. Until I shoot them with harpoons.

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If life gives you lemons, You have a problem and you might need medicine.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says what will it be? The duck replies "lemonade!"

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what did the home less man get for chrismas? cancer.

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What did the flower say to it's friends? I want to kill a Christmas tree.

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Whats the difference between a monkey and another monkey? I dont know google it!

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what is the coolest thing in the world? hashtag swagbag yolo

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Roses are blurry so is everything else I need glasses

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Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

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What did the five fingers say to the face? Nothing. Fingers cannot talk.

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why can't Amy ride on the rollercoaster? Because she's under the height limit.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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69

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Oh you're dating my ex? Do you want my unfinished sandwhich too? And my old shoes? And a couple of my shirts I don't wear anymore? How about a my toys I used to play with? Or my spoiled pickle that's been in my car for about a year and a half after I went to the mall with my friends, we watched a movie, I don't remember which one it was but it was funny, then after that we went to McDonald's and it was the first time I heard of McGangbang and it was pretty good. After that I think we went to Jerry's cousin's house, he was a cool guy until I found out that he likes Tyga, so I ended up never talking to him again.... I went off topic, sorry

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Why did Suzy drop her ball? Because roughly 5 years ago she was part of a car crash violently tearing off both of her arms. Knock knock. Who's there. NOT SUZY!

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The young orphan boy had high hopes for this Christmas. When he woke up, he ran to the foot of the tree and saw a large box wrapped with seasonal wrapping paper. He looked at it to see that it was for someone else. The boy recieved nothing for Christmas and was later hit by a bus that had veered off of the road to avoid hitting a dog. The boy is now paralyzed and is extremely disappointed as to how his Christmas had unfolded.

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How do you mess with Hellen Keller? Re-arrange her furniture.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet, so he/she can put it down.

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What did god say when he saw the first black person? He will do alright for him self

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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