A man was walking down the sidewalk. Then he turned into a drugstore.

Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at a grocery store? Because I wanna spill some milk on the floor so they can call spill on aisle 9 and I'll be there waiting for you and watch you clean my mess.

If you have a stroke, call 000

What did the down syndrome kid get for christmas? Pulmonary Embolisms.

How do you call a half deaf duck? HEY DUCK!!!!!!

Why the chimp fell off the tree? Because it's dead.

What was the last thing to go through Kurt Cobain's mind? His teeth.

Roses are red violets are blue this poem is stupid.

how do you get an old man to fall? tip over his wheelchair

why couldnt hellen keller drive a car? because she was a woman

Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue You wouldn't know that Cause you're a dog.

Why is minecraft so awesome? Because real life is boring as crap.

A man walks into a bar so how many Jews were there when a man called Wellard ate a pizza. Balloons

Why did the police officer pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

And then Jesus turned the water into wine. Some did not approve of this miracle "masta, whut is da reezon you did aint make this into tha coolaid? Bible files: Directors cut.

Why did the chicken cross the road!? He was supposed to be dead! You are by far the most incompetent chicken assassin we've ever had. You're fired.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? Because he got hit by a bus.

Knock knock.

What do Justin Bieber and Eminem have in common? They both need to get a life. I lied about Eminem.

Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

what did the home less man get for chrismas? cancer.

What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

What did the flower say to it's friends? I want to kill a Christmas tree.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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