Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took an arrow to the knee and had armor so it deflected off. Then I found out my wife was pregnant.

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A man in a trash compactor.

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There was an elephant , a bird, a man, a tree, a cat, a dog, a lion, a horse, a cow, a pig, a duck, a lemon, a turnip, an apple, a rabbit, a slice of pizza and a spoon. I just wasted around 8 seconds of your life

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Why was the blonde walking funny? She had a ten foot long metal bar shoved up her butt, and it was very painful to walk.

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How do you get a black kid to sleep? A cup of warm milk and maybe a lulluby should do it.

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How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? Purple because, ice-cream has no bones.

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An overweight person falls down the stairs.. They had to be taken to A&E as they suffered very serious injuries.

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What did the man in the mirror say to the other man The Same F****** Thing!!

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Two little boys are talking to each other: - My dad's dick is soo biig! - Eh, my dad's dick is small but it still hurts...

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Why was the little kid bullied? Because kids are goats.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Dropping your biscuit in your cup of tea.

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Texter 1: Hey, do you want to hang out? Texter 2: Sorry dude, i lost my phone, i'm trying to find it Texter 1: Ok, text me when you find it Texter 2: OK

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust? What's worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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WHART++EWEEEEEEEP FLARPEN CARPEN FLARP

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Did you hear about the new brand of shovel? Yeah, it's pretty groundbreaking.

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Guess What!? What?! GIGGITY GIGGITY GOOOOOOOOO!!!!! (ALL RIGHT) OH.

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Customer Service "May I help you?" "Yes."

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Why did the boy have pink skin at night? Because he did not put on a sufficient amount of sunscreen that morning. This is also known as sunburn.

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Don't make jokes about the Holocaust. My grandfather died in the Holocaust. He fell off a watchtower.

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Tom: God! Matt:Where? Tom:Matt i was saying God ! Jesus! Matt: God and Jesus! wow! Tom: why am i talking to you? Matt: Wanna play a game? Tom:bye.

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How did the black man get a nice car? He spent 8 years of his life getting a doctorate so he could be hired at a job that will pay for his desired vehicle.

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Q:what do you call a black man with blonde hair flying a plane? A: A pilot

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just a man and his thoughts....and a smart phone app, and a loving family, thats not the point.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops