A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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What's the most famous anti-joke? This one.

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Q)why couldn't the baby talk? A)the baby was dead.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Matters the size of the bathtub and the size of the babies.

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Do I know any jokes about sodium hypobromite? As a matter of fact, I do. It goes: "Do I know any jokes about sodium hypobromite? NaBrO."

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There are 3 guys named:Poop, Shut up and Manners. They all were speeding down the street, they took a sharp turn and Poop fell out of the back. A cop pulled them over while Manners got out to go get Poop. The cop says, "whats your name." "Shut up." "No seriously whats your name." "Shut up" he says a little bit harsher. "Wheres your manners?" the cop says. "Back there picking up Poop."

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What do you call it when a dead man has his wallet stolen? Rob Zombie.

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Michael J Fox may not be able to draw a perfect circle but he sure can jerk off like a champ

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Why do we oftenly see african cry for nothing? Because this is the only way they get water.

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Why did a black person beat a white person in a race? The white person was hindered because a polar bear was biting their leg the entire time.

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Why'd Carly fall off the swing? She got hit by a bus

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Why did the bones cross the street? They didn't. The dogs ate them.

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Your momma is so fat, shes skinny.

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Your Momma is sooooo poor, she struggles day by day to feed you and your 8 siblings while keeping a roof over your head.

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What looks like a black book but is actually white? I don't know because it can't look like a black book if it's white.

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Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

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What shouldn't you say to a dementia patient? You already said that.

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What did one blind person say to the other? Nothing. He is also mute.

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What is square and grey? A grey square.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

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Why did the dog in Detroit die in the street? It was stabbed.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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No antijoke here.

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Whats black, dead, and hangs from a tree in my backyard? Your Mom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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