I have a toaster. I have two subway coupons and a handful of pubic hair equal trade baby

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WHO'S YO DADDY? the man who's semen combined with your mother's egg to create a child.

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What happens when a building has a 13th floor ? You realize this isn't a del building and fall down 13 flights.

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Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

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what did batman say to robyn before he got in the car?... "get in the car"

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What hurts more than a bullet? A bullet penetrating your skin, muscle and embedding itself in your body

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What's worse than a dead baby? What a sick question. Most would argue that nothing is worse than the death of an infant.

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whats the difference between a boyscout and a jew? boyscouts come home from camp

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What did the speech impaired man say ? Nothing.

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. he crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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Why couldn't the T-Rex give anyone a high five? Cuz he's dead.

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Q: yugdyijgdripgdghd A: sorry I'm retarted. I don't know wtf I'm doin

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Whats the best thing about having sex with twenty eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

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What's worse than slipping on a banana peel? Amanda Todd's suicide.

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You are like really sincere aren't you? I really appreciate that in a friend. Thank you for being who you are Nero.

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yo mama is so fat she broke a branch off the family tree

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Whats round and bouncy? A bouncy ball

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Knock knock "Who's there?" "Bark bark" "Bark Bark who?" "Bark bark bark bark bark bark."

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What do you do when you're given a phonebook? You ask for their name.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Q: What did the newborn dumpster baby say to the raccoon? A: Nothing. Newborn babies cannot talk.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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If I tell you that seeing you happy, is my main motivation towards accepting right now, would you believe me?

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whatdumb and gay stewart price

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops