Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why didn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing Mittens

thumb_up thumb_down -5

knock knock who's there? F uck F uck who? F uck off

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man walks into a bar and at the bar he sees this guy with a blue head. He asks the man with the blue head if he can buy him a drink. The man with the blue head says "sure... you want to know about the blue head don't you?" "Yes i do" "Okay it all starts with a genie, he gave me 3 wishes, the first wish was to have a beautiful wife and a house to put her in, the second wish was for a ton of money, and the third wish was for a blue head."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

almost as accidental as your spelling im afraid

thumb_up thumb_down -5

how many babies does it take o paint a house depends on how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A muslim walks through a medal detector before the entrance of the airport terminal. The alarm goes off and he is arrested by TSA officials, they open his jacket and find 30lbs of high explosives.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Three nudists, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. No one finds it particuarly odd because the three are conscientious and wear appropriate clothing in public places.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why don't you ever want to greet your friend Jack on the plane? Because your wife cheated on you with him and she is having his baby, if you were to even think about talking to Jack, you'd end up slitting his throat and throwing him off the side of the plane into a crocodile pit where they will make a feast of his body for the next couple days... So just don't greet Jack

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand, "Hey! Got any grapes?" The man then realized he was hallucinating because ducks are unable to speak proper english.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the farmer let him out, and he found a road to cross!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Is that a gun? Or are you forcing your boner into my back? Or is it something completely different that shares the physical characteristics of guns and boners?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the man stop smoking? Because he was shot in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the black father get his child for Christmas? A Yo-Yo. Actually, never-mind, he doesn't know his father.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? it doesn't matter. she can't climb up a tree with only one arm.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a person who hammers a nail into his forehead? A dumbass.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why are asians bad drivers? Driving schools in asia are severely less developed and therefore produce less experienced and skillful drivers. They also have asian eyes (:

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why did the mans alarm clock go off at six am? he has a high paid job he doesnt want to let down.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 and 7 are non-living objects and cannot show fear or anger.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What happened to the frog that broke down? It got toad.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock Knock Who's There Carly Carly Who Hey I just met you, and this is crazy So here's my number and call me maybe

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops