What happened when Tim's house caught on fire? The fire department was contacted and they put the fire out.

Me and my wife set and watch the eleven o'clock news every night. My wife always thinks that she has the different disease that is mentioned each day. One night she was practically in tears telling me that she had the disease that was talked about that night. I looked at her and said "honey, there is no way that you have testicular cancer. You don't even have testiculars." The End

Yo momma so fat, when she steps on the scales it reads 90kg

why did the kid stop eating his breakfast...two Penn state officials knocked at the door

what did the man say when he was reading a book? nothing, if u assume the situation when hes reading to himself.

guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

What's big, black, and just knocked an 8 year old girl off of her bike? The refrigerator I just threw at her. (not all are white you know)

what do you call a black who stabbed your entire family? it all depends on what his name happens to be

Why did the drunk driver get into an accident? It was a woman.

Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could DO YO MOMM!!!

Q: Where do you go when its cold? A: A corner because its 90 degrees.

A miserable man committed suicide.

What's worse then finding 10 babies in 1 trashcan? Finding 1 baby in 10 trashcans.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like ass, And no one loves you!

Whats worse than Sandy Hook Massacre? 9/11

what do u call a black men standing on top of a church. holy shit

How many Jews can you fit in to a car? Well depending on the car 2-8

I man sees a shooting star and makes a wish. Nothing happens as shooting stars are incapable of granting wishes.

A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

why did the dad stop working on the roof he fell off

Q. How can you find true love? A. Google it...duh

Where would you find a dog with one leg? Possibly in a vet's surgery, or in an animal rescue home or being cared for by a loving owner.

How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? I don't know considering it was never done before, and that the size of the pancake would have to be taken into account. Although I would suggest you use a better material like wood, plastic, or metal.

What is black and likely to fail? A chain smokers lungs.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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