Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

Why didn't the lawyer submit the car accident he endured to his local courthouse? He was dying of internal brain damage from the shards of glass lodged in his brain from flying through the windshield.

A woman says Renae has a butt... Two men say we don't care we have her hammer. True story.

Women age like a fine wine: sediment develops as they lose their tannins, and earthy notes of oak and mineral develop in their flavor profile, giving them a lengthened finish.

Why is 5 the best number? Because it's alive!

What is the worst place to be in race if you're racing with me Behind me

Vancouver Canucks Hater: What time is? Another Vancouver Canucks Hater: 6 past Luongo

roses are red violets are blue bullets are lead now i shoot you

What did Osama Bin Laden say to his barber? ????? ??? ?????? ??? ?????, which, in their native language means, I would like to get a haircut.

What smells like diarrhea and looks like poop? A rotten banana.

This is hypothetical remember, just examples with no roots in real life events. The problem with your former employee, was that he would easily have played the victim, certain organizations would have paid him a fortune for the intel he had collected, and surely also agreed to let him walk away, and get you and your small (relatively) crack team death penalty on the spot, just like the underground, you would have been branded terrorists simply because certain people would have earned billions by doing so. The wizard would most likely have gone free, as long as he shared every tiny bit of info, then the cops, the feds, would have blamed it all on you for being his supervisor, you would not have survived the ordeal, trust me.

Q: Where is the One Piece? A: My girlfriend is wearing it.

why did the man shoot himself in the foot? because he didnt have the safety on and he had no gun handling skills.

So a black man steals a bike Because it was unlocked, and that was just poor planning.

if your mother was put in a situation where she could either have sex with a man or a woman she would pick the woman

How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how big the lightbulb is

What did the disabled kid do on friday? He fell down a flight of stairs.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple

Why was the 18 year boy afraid of his dad? Cause his dad butt raped him when he was 7.

What did the German say to the Rabbi? Hello. The German was also Jewish

Q: why did the prisoner drop his soap? A: easy sex

Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To see if it could.

A man walked in a bar and asked for 10 shots. (not descriptively) The bar tender got his gun out and shot the man 10 times. Another man asked for three stabs at it. The bar tender stabbed him 3 times. The last man asked for a bomb load. The bar tender gave him 100's of granades. Then the man bombed down the bar with the bar tender inside

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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