How do you know when it is a Mexican's birthday? They are walking around with "happy birthday" balloons.

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What did Selena Gomez say to JB? We're breaking up cuz u smell like French fries and you look like a poop

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Q: What do you call half of the worlds population of black people on the moon. A: Close enough.

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why was the boys t.v broken? because he through it out the window

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stinky boner

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus

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Why is it not safe for turkeys to do maths? Because they don't have the mental capacity to carry out the calculations correctly, which would be a danger in jobs such as engineering or the space industry. Furthermore, they are unable to understand the concept of numbers or symbols and therefore have no motivation to solve mathematical problems; and even if they did, they don't have the dexterity or education to write out the solutions.

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What happened to the Jewish man while he was in the shower? He accidentally fell asleep and was late to his job.

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Why did the police officer beat the black man? Because the Internet is able to connect a variety of different types of people together and the off-duty police officer was slightly better at the multiplayer game they were playing.

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The frightened girl did everything the man said. " Open your legs. Bend over..." She was playing Simon says and was afraid to loose. It wasn't sexual abuse, which her sister had experienced while traveling around the world in 2007.

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Why did Martha Stewart's skin hurt? My friend has a skin condition :( and is dying, skin cancer is not something to make fun of.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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Knock knock? Whose There? Not Suzie, She can't knock

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What's brown and smells like shit? The rapidly decaying bodies of several dead chipmunks.

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Jennifer Kim... having a boyfriend!

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Yo momma so fat she ate a tape worm which had to be surgically removed because it further increased her health problems. She's still fat.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. It is a coincidence that none of them have the same hair colour.

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Homo say what?

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What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp? There is none, one is a female human being with blonde hair and the other is a headlamp with a halogen lightbulb.

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Q:what do you do when a black guy is drowning A:you dont

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What is the difference between menstrual blood and sand? You can't gargle sand.

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What do you call a man with no arms? Disabled... some people can be so cruel.

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Patient: Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Doctor: That's because you are. Patient: Wow, I need to lay off the mushrooms.

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How many turrets patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? Cocksucker!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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