A man goes to a gas station to pump gas in his car. After about 7 minutes, he leaves.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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what happened to the girl next door ? she was brutally murdered.

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What mouse walks on two legs? Mickey Mouse. What bear walks on two legs? Winnie the Pooh. What duck walks on two legs? All of them, dumbass.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Peer pressure

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why did the midget beat the basketball player in a foot race? the basketball player got bit by a scorpion and died within minutes.

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OMG THIS ACTUALLY WORKS! 1. Hold your breath for 2 mins 2. Die

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How many dead rats can you put in your ex-girlfriend's bed? 437.

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What do you call an argument between a Jew and a German? World War 2

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A man walks into a bar, politely orders one drink, sips it while having social conversations with his peers, pays his tab, and goes to take the bus home. I can respect that.

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Why did the platypus have no friends? Platipi are antisocial creatures by nature.

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How do you make your mom mad? Burn down the house and eat the dog.

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What is worst then 9/11? What? Tiger woods

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What's worst than finding two worms in your apple? Two holocausts.

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/\ The joke above was really dumb. \/ The joke below is pretty good.

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What did one friend say on his friend's myspace page? You need a Facebook

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Why didn't the priest move in with the two rabbi? Because having three adults between the ages of 18 and 65 occupying the dwelling would have violated their insurance policy.

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What did the black man say when he waked into KFC? Can I use the restroom?

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A man and a hobo meet on a narrow path. What does the hobo do? Finds the mans wife and impregnateds her, aborts the baby, takes dead fetus chops it up and makes the man eat it in a salad. While the man is chocking he shotes him and walks on.

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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What's the most confusing day in Mexico? Father's Day.

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What killed Hitler? His gas bill.

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What did the tractor say when he lost his farmer? wheres my farmer?

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A white guy, a black guy, and an asian guy jump off a bridge. Who hits the ground first? It doesn't matter. They are all going to die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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