What did the cannibal eat for breakfast? Waffles.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away Because no dog likes being called "hurrrrdhjkdhjsaklhdkhjkddssaduyiwqkhdbewcjk"

A horse walks into a bar and begins to moo. Everyone is confused until it takes off its costume and reveals it's just a cow.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is an animal without a high enough level of intelligence to see the dangers in doing so.

what's worse than jamming a finger in a door the holocaust what's worse than the holocaust jamming 2 fingers in a door

why did Michael Jackson cross the road? He didnt he is dead.

2 doctors are talking to each other: -Dead? -Dead.

How does a dyslexic person read the word 'schitzophrenia'? Schitzophrenia. I leid abuot teh dyslxeia.

Knock knock. *Silence Knock knock *silence Knock knock *Silence KNOCK KNOCK. *Silence (Busts open door) Oh right I murdered Billy a week ago

I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket. He said: "Hey, I wonder how far I can kick this bucket."

Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

women rights

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? -Allergies.

It's okay, I got the yogurt.

How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? a bench is a structure designed for sitting and a Mexican is a person born in Mexico.

What do you call a black woman working at a bar? A Bartender. What do you call an asian woman working at a bar? A Bartender.

Why did Sally fall off the swing set? because she had no arms. --- Knock, Knock Whos there? Not Sally.

why should you not go to sleep in public? Because that's how you get raped.

Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

Is it colder on a farm than in the winter?

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

Why didn't Johns book get published? He had dyslexia.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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