Why do blondes where knickers? to keep their ankles warm

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Your boat breaks down on the highway. How many squirrels does it take to eat a bannana? Squirrels do not eat bannanas but it would probably take a monkey 1.5 milliseconds.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?? Blue.

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God wrote this joke.................................

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What do you call a mexican who steals toasters? A mexican toaster thief.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "A door to door salesman. Are you unsatisfied with the way your dish soap handles your plates? Then I have the product for you!" "I'm not interested in your product, but thank you anyway." "No problem. On an off note, how did you hear me? I didn't speak very loudly when I said knock knock, and I didn't even bother to knock on the door or ring the doorbell." "I have really good hearing." "Oh, okay. And for future reference, maybe you should open the door when talking to a visitor. Then body language gets established and the conversation flows more nicely that way." "That's some good advice, and I'll take it. Thanks, salesman." "You're welcome. On to the next house."

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A dwarf walked into a pizza shop and ordered a large pepperoni pizza advertised as $12.50. He gave some money to the man behind the counter who then said, "Sir, you're a little short." The dwarf replied, "My apologies, I thought I had given you a twenty." He gave the man behind the counter the difference he owed, took his pizza and left.

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What is both blue and yellow at the same time? Green.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A shocking example of the cruelty suffered by animals at hands of humanity.

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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What do you call a horse that likes to box? A horse

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Whats old and has been alone for years. Your dead nan

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A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? a fridge was thrown at her

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What's the difference between a duck?

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You read this in school as the kid sitting next to you stares at his computer screen.

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what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

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What's green fury has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you. A pool-table

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ms caissie is secretly laughing at these...

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A man walks into a bar. He suffers a fatal concussion and the playground is shut down by local police until proper padding is installed.

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Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

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What was the racist kid's least favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate for an unrelated reason.

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Q: How many Jewish people can fit in a four door sedan? A: 4, or possibly 5, depending on the sedan's optional seating, and depending on whether the gentleman are comfortable enough with each other to scoot closer to allow a 5th friend to join in.

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one day a guy walks into a bar. he buy's a drink then walks hapily home by Mad James

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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