An Irishman walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After a while, the bartender comes over to him and asks if he would like another beer. He says no and leaves.

Want to hear an urban legend? There's a straight feminist.

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear? The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

Why did the portuguese fisherman take out a $20,000 loan with a reknown loan shark at exorbitant interest rates? He needed to buy a kidney on the black market for his drug addicted daughter who had also destroyed his credit score meaning he coudln't get a loan from the usual credit facilities such as banks and credit unions.

What's taters, precious? The potato is a starchy, tuberous crop from the perennial Solanum tuberosum of the Solanaceae family.

A Cheerio is at Cheerio high school, and there is another Cheerio that he wants to ask to the prom, but she is a frosted Cheerio and because of Cheerio social statuses she would not go with him. So he goes to the Cheerio factory so he can become a frosted Cheerio. The factory workers tell him that he can be a frosted Cheerio, but the machines are malfunctioning today and they can only frost half of him. He agrees, and the girl Cheerio goes to the prom with him. He shows up at the prom with her, and she asks him to get her some punch. So, he's walking around, looking for the punch line, when he realizes: There isn't any.

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? I'm sleeping with your wife

A man walks into a convenient store and asks the cashier where the toilet paper is. She says aisle five. He goes down aisle five and there's no toilet paper.

What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

A:why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side =D B:...i dont think you fully grasp the concept of an anti joke yet...smh -.-

What is funny to watch but stinks of shit. Jews oh and SBB they both stink and are funny to watch.

Q: What did the black man say to the sheriff? A: Good day, officer

What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms.

Yo mamma's so fat that the gravity required to keep her on the ground is significantly smaller than an average sized human.

i used to take arrows to the knee,til i took one to the balls.

Knock Knock. Who's There? A Banana. The middle aged man opened the door, prepared to distribute candy to the trick or treaters.

how do you make a little boy cry? Kill his parents in front of him .

Q) What do you call a black man swinging from a tree? A) A very silly man as it is potentially dangerous

If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The rabbi survives.

What color do you wear if you're in the NAVY? Beige, white, sometimes camouflage - really, it depends on your rank and the situation.

Billy: Why do pirates say rrrrr? Mark: I don't know, I'm not a pirate.

Why did a car full of African-American men pull up to a lonely white man walking on the sidewalk at 12 p.m. in Harlem? To ask for directions.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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