Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

thumb_up thumb_down -13

If an aeroplane falls from 15,000 feet in the air and crashes into and orphanage is it possible that no-one will get hurt? No,the aeroplane will destroy the orphange hurting the property value.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man walked into a bar, He then realised that he was likely to become the butt of a joke quite soon and subsequently left to take his kids to the park.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven killed all of six's family

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a really old black person? Someone's grandfather

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Teacher- What comes after 69 Boy- Mouthwash?? Teacher- LEAVE!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Two pandas walked into a bar. The bar was in china.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man finds out he was molested by his father as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why aren't there any painkillers in the jungle? because of the unethical and unscrupulous practices of big pharma

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red, violets are blue, if you had a pulmonary embolism, you would be too

thumb_up thumb_down -15

roses are blue violets are red and just like you they're messed up in the head

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

thumb_up thumb_down -15

eh dylan quieres que te trolle de nuevo

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock knock Who's there? Mike Mike who? Mike Davis from across the street. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did Tim's grandma get him for his birthday? Nothing, because Tim's grandma died in a car accident 2 years ago

thumb_up thumb_down -15

don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red, Violets are blue, STDs are contagious. Careful who you screw!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

The joke below me was written by someone who was mauled by a panther and raped by a tribe.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? A fat kid sitting on you

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why does everyone love Randy Jackson? Well it's sure not because he's black.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why doesn't the little boy talk to his mom? Because she smells like barbecue sauce.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Bible Games aka Bible Buffet: SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Sometime after the death and return of Superma... Jesus. God: RAISE FROM YOUR GRAVE! Jesus slays holy white beasts: POWER UP! POWER UP! HOMO UP! Uh did he say homo u... ARGH! CANNOT CONTAIN LEVEL OF HOMO! TURNING FURFAG/ALTERED BEAST. A wild Saten appears!: WELCOME TO YOUR DOOM! Jesus used gay wolf punch, it was not very effective... wild Saten uses OMFG HE TEARS OFF HIS OWN HEAD AND THROWS IT AT JESUS! Its super effective! Jesus Dies. Moral: Second coming? He came back to meet his disciples and crap AFTER quoting "ill be back", did he promise some third coming? Is that why people have been waiting for over 2000 years? :P

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops