What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a pair of scissors? Nothing. That's not possible with current technology.

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Your mom is so poor that she collect food stamps is on welfare and lives in section 8 housing and cannot find a job that provides her a livable wage

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Your mom is so old she died

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A: Why do you look like a dog? B: Idk.

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You have 37 candy bars and you give your friend 12. What is the square route of the sun? Yes

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Why does everybody hates Justin Bieber? Just leave that girl alone!

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What did Pablo experience during his first day in private school? the atmosphere of a private school

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What do you get when you mix a elephant and a rhino? A nasty tasting smoothie.

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yo mama's so fat, yo mama's so ugly; your mothers breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks

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What time did the Chinese man go the dentist? About 5 minutes prior to his appointment

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Some guy pretends to be Santa on the street. He touches a little girl and says "It's okay i'm Santa" So the pedophile Santa molestes the little girl. The little girl goes home and says that Santa touched her so the parents go looking for this guy. And then they find out he died of a heart attack.

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Whats the difference between wayne rooney and shrek? Well, one, shrek is fictional. Two if he was fictional,he is green. Wayne rooney is not green. Three wayne rooney plays for a football team, surely shrek has no idea what football is. The list goes on.

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A black man walks into a bar in Alabama, he then proceeds to have a couple of drinks and leaves.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Your mom is so poor She will soon have to make the difficult decision whether or not to put you up for adoption

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Q: y does obama keep raising gas prices A: he dosent want anyone to be able to drive to the poles in november

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M Factory Because she repeatedly wrote Ws

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Boy: "But I don't wanna visit Grandma!" Mother: "Shut up and keep digging."

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How do you make a little girl cry?

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Obama

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A black guy and a white guy are arguing over what race god is. So they go to god and ask what race he is. They never got their answer, because god doesn't exist.

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alex is cool

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If i knew people where coming i would have trimed my antlers

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Joe is a negotiator. When joe sees someone in trouble, he tries to help them out of it by talking. Joe failed to talk to Osama bin laden correctly. Joe is no longer living in this world. Joe drank his sorrows away and died from the alcohol in his body. Osama is completely unrelated to this, his family died in a car crash.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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