What did the Priest say to the kid walking home alone? Be safe.

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why didnt Tim Tebow go to church? He had practice half an hour before the service was scheduled to start, and to do both was impossible and missing practice would have resulted in disciplinary action from both his coaches and his teammates.

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I drive in driveways. I recite in recitals. I play in plays. I park on parkways. My greenhouse is green. And my boxing ring is round. Why does everyone think I'm weird??

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A man walks into a store. He purchases what he was intending to, walks out, and gets on with his day.

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Theodore was a small kid that lived down the street. Little did he know, that Kaiwen the Poor Pedo was his next door neighbour. So he was walking one day down the street. He saw Kaiwen dead. Because he ate too much sugar. So Theodore called the police. But his phone broke suddenly. Theodore realized that his brother had filled it with broken eggshells. He was sad. He took out a few golf balls and stuffed them in his mouth. But he couldnt forget taht a fellow neighbour had died. He buried the body beneath the Carpet of Ol' Justin's House. He wasnt happy. His dad confiscated his laptop. And the golf balls

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's black, white and re(a)d all over ? A penguin in a blender.

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Knock knock Who's there? Your mom Oh hi mom

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Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

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EVERYONE NEEDS TO UNDERSTAND!! DYSLEXICS ARE TEOPLE POO!

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Your mother is overweight. This is largely due to her sedentary lifestyle.

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What's the best part about having sex with a bunch of 3 year olds? There's 20 of them

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What is the french word for penis? I cannot say because I do not possess an adequate knowledge of the language.

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What did the transvestite say to the hypochondriac? "Ever been to Toledo?"

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Why did the little boy chase after his ball? Because it rolled away

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Doctor: Knock knock. Patient: Whose there? Doctor: Interrupting doctor. Patient: Interrupting doc... Doctor: Your son has AIDS and will die soon.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? On average 2,950, however, this has not been properly tested due to obvious reasons.

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BEST PLACE IN THE WORLD COPENHAGEN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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what did the teacher say to the students when she was talking about the solar system The sun is very hot. At the core it is 15 million degrees Celsius or 27 million degrees Farenheit. Using a magnifying glass, we can see the very hot heat and the light of the sun. Please do not do that because it can hurt your eyes. This makes the light very bright and the heat is so hot it could start a fire.

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I got a new jacket. The jacket had real cotton inside the sleeves. The next day my new jacket was gone, but the one i bought yesterday wasn't.

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B==========D-------------------------- im pissin man! god!

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What is the difference between a Nigga and a bucket of shit? ....The bucket.

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Roses are yellow Daisies are purple Tv drinks yes Why swing the door

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there are seven of us," reply the babies, "now get us a round of bloody marys

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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