Why is an elephant big, gray and lumpy? Because if it was small, white and smooth it would be an Asprin.

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What did the priest do to the little crying boy in an enclosed room? He forgave the boy for his sins. Then he raped him.

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What's 9+10 Ebola

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You know what is funnier than 24???? I don't know that's why I was asking

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If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? So it would not get hit

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One afternoon, a man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my youngest son is gay." the man replies. "Wow that's bad buddy, I'll buy you the drink, on the house." Two weeks later, the same man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my second son is gay." the man replies. "Wow that's bad buddy, I'll buy you the drink, on the house." Two weeks later, the same man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my oldest son is gay." the man replies. "Doesn't anyone in your family like women?." the bartender asks. The man thinks about it. "Yeah, my wife."

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Oh you have herpes? yeah, there's an app for that.

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A man serves his wife dinner. She laughes and tells him it tastes funny. He then procedes to tell her that is because he put large amounts of poision into the food.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Go up to her and say, "The bookbag coffeepotted the ice cream wedding! Is it gosling for you to rectify this pane of glass and oceans? I won't be able to berry a giant squid before the cows arrive."

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Pete and Repeat were sitting in a boat. Pete fell off. I hope he was wearing a personal flotation device.

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Why did the man get fired from his Job? The boss became his ex girlfriend 2 minutes ago

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

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How do you hit a clown off a swing? There are many was of acting upon this situation but the most successful approach would be hitting the clown with a heavy object,

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why couldn't jimmy play on the swings at recess.. Because he's been dead for 5 years

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was blind.

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what do you do if you get in a car wreck with a black man get out of your vehicle and exchange insurance information

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ADAM FANTUZZI SUCKS KIRANS BALL SACK

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What did helen keller say when she saw a talking horse? nothing. because she didn't see the horse and they also cannot talk.

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Helena: Can u get me a pencil? Me: Sure. Me: Mr. Brandmeyer can u give me a pencil? Mr. Brandmeyer: Why? Me: I don't know. That's what Helena said.

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What is the Question to Life, the Universe, and Everything? 43 - 1 = ?

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What did the blade of grass say to the other blade of grass? Nothing, as grass does not have the capability of speaking and does not have a brain, all it has is a complex life system where it feeds off water. If it were to say anything though, it would say, "Hey! We're both blades of grass!"

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

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BTW ANders she is gone, read below, seriously! And your mother is ugly, but she is so kind to me, so ill be nice to her too... Seducing a LONE WIDOW ME 32 years she... 180 and always blushing around me? Thats gonna be hard... No seriously, I kissed her on the cheek the other day, she moaned... And she aint that old... looks like a old 40 year old. ANDERS! AAAANDEERS! CHATTERTON!!! Anyway, tell your mom, that way Ill just need to enter, kill you, and you know... make her feel like she is ... 77 again? Nah she is ahornbag so she must be younger, wont kiss her on those lips though ANDERSSSss because she smokes, the others? Sure, Ill take a pic of her squirting! From the guy that taught you how to make any woman squirt... YOu fucking asshole!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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