roses are read violets are blue my fanny is orange I have the flu my name is gemma

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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why was the little girl crying? Because her family was dead

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how do you starve a black man? hide his food stamps in his work boots.

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Why was the little boy sad Because he has depression from his father beating him over and over every time he comes home from school...

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow.

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Y didnt the grandma go to christmas? She died on thanksgiving

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Why don't some black men have jobs? Because they won't work

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Why did the donkey cross the road? To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? Heehaw!

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What did Washington say to California? WC

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what did the farmer do? plant

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Why was the boy crying? he was so happy his mom bought him a playstation 3

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A pengiuin walked into a bar. Just kidding, it waddled at an increasingly fast rate.

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whats a bike and rhymes with mike?

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you were so loud you woke helen keller up!!!!!!!

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Why did the chicken fall down? Because it wanted to have fun

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? The black guy said, "hello". They then proceeded to have a normal conversation.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I got pneumonia so now I am too

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Knock knock Who's there? Justin Bieber OH MY GOD REALLY?! No.

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What did the pirate order for breakfast? Pancakes.

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Which is heavier, a tonne of feathers or a tonne of lead? It doesn't matter when your loved ones are being torn apart by bears.

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How do you treat lice Avoid getting them

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Q: What are the best kind of jokes? A: The funny ones.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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