What's black and blue and is scared to death? the kid in my trunk

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there's a blonde and a brunette jumping out of a plane, what one hits the ground first? they both hit at the same time because gravity pulls everything down towards the earth at the same pace

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What do you do with a leg less dog? Take him for a drag.

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How many pastry chefs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. It's a fairly simple job.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Well, a pizza is edible object provided for human consumption, and a jew is a holy human being believing in the prophet abraham.

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what do you get when you have an albino black man, a lesbian middle eastern siamese twin of the female gender, a polygamist indian and a jewish native american? A very cultured and diversified posse of hostages. Take your pick.

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Why did the teacher ask her student about the test? Because she was in the hospital the day of the test because her husband was hit by a rail road spike and died but she was so devoted to her job she wanted to know.

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Why was the pig squealing? Because all four of its legs were tied together and it was about to have it's head chopped off so the meat could be processed for people to enjoy.

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...The new series of spinoff movies from the worlds most frightening franchise! Pretty Normal Activity: Doing the groceries *****-Did not scare me at all :D! Ballbusters movie rentals *****- The demon never showed up which made this the scariest movie ever! Could not sleep for months... Whatyumean there is nothing paranormal in this? Aww FU*beep*CK!! Sumgay Inthestreet Journal *****-Pissed myself just from hearing the title got a stroke and almost died!, was it another Paranormal movie you said? Most overhyped comment we could find. Goddamn exaggerated movie reviews that fooled me into buying the original and expect something actually scary :(

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Why did the man fall off of his bike? He was hit by a car and died in a tragic accident.

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A man drove up to a drive-thru. He ordered a coke, but the lady at the window spilled it on his lap. He promptly changed his clothes and accepted the lady's apology.

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Question:Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Answer:Because she had no arms or legs. Question:What did little Susie get for Christmas? Answer: a bike, and cancer Question: what did little Susie get next Christmas? Answer: nothing, she didn't live that long... Knock knock Who's there Not little Susie

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 went to war and when he came back, he was really messed up. One day he took 2 into a dark alley and beat him up really badly. Now, it's not just 6 who is afraid, but everyone.

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why wasnt nathan invited the party? nathan's been dead for 5 years

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What does Adolf Hitler hate more than Jews? Nothing.

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Why didn't little Billy's parents get him the new toy he wanted? Little Billy's parents are dead.

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Why did the toddler fall over? He's an Iraqi child and has been shot in both legs, being readied for a public execution for fighting on the opposing side.

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Knock knock. Get out!!

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What's green and if you eat it you die? A Biljarts table.

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Your mom is so old she died

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For no reason at all Pac-man was being chased by evil monsters while eating his luch...He choked on his food and died

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A man walks into a bar he's drunk and can't feel it But he's ok

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White guy: I figure she's a gold digger, my neighbor. Black guy: Did you say the N word?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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