What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

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Yo moma so fat, it ain't even funny. Seriously. She is suffering real diabetes! Do you know how that feels? I though so...

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Yo mama is so old, she might die soon! - Louis

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there r three guys on a bridge. They r chinese,mexican,&american. They each have a bottle of beer. The chinese dude says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. Then the mexican says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. The american takes a drink of his and sets it down he looks at the mexican and says I have enough of these in my country and throws the mexican over the bridge.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

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3 brothers Mohammed, Ahmed and Saahad were on the 09:25 flight from Tehran to New York. They each only carried a rucksack each and a one way ticket. They are Syrian refugees and their parents are dead.

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okay so three men are in a plane ( this is the type of plane you can open the windows) so the stewardess goes up to the first man he asks for a gun she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window he confused but he does it anyways the stewardess goes to the second man he asks for a beer she agrees but he has to throw it out the window hes confused but he does it anyways the stewardess walks up the the third man he asks for a pack of C4 she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window without hesitation he gets it and throws it out the window. so they land and the first man sees a women crieing i was walking down the street and got hit in the head by a gun and arested for being armed the second man sees a hobo cheering loudly hes says he was sleeping in the ally and it started raining budlight the third man shes a women hysterically laughing she says i was going to work and spilled my coffe then my house blew up!

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What's the difference between you and a bucket of shit? The bucket and the shit. You're a human being.

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Q: How long does it take to dig to China? A: 5 mins. I hire a bunch of mexicans

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Katniss: Don't worry Prim, your not getting picked for the reaping this year! Effie: First Tribute, Primrose Everden! Katniss: Oh sh*t.

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Prostitution is bad.......

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A sixty Year old man walks into a bank to rob it. He tells the bank teller, "Take the money and put it into a bag!" The teller told him, "Sir I don't have a bag." So the old man turns around and walks out.

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What worse than a hurt puppy? Two hurt puppies.

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Q: What's worse than a truckload of dead babies? A: Shoveling them out with a pitchfork.

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What do u call a man who is smart. A lawyer/ genius/ smart man

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How much do polar bears weigh? Between 800 and 1600 pounds

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Two muffins are in an oven. They don't speak to each other because muffins do not have the ability to make speech. After being in the oven for several minutes at 375 degrees, they are removed, left to cool, and were eaten. They were good.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. It is a coincidence that none of them have the same hair colour.

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Wanna hear a joke? Sure. Me too.

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no.

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why did the girl cry because she was raped

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A fat man orders a pizza. Then after eating it, he gets a eart attack due to his high cholesterol and lack of exercise

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How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? By grounding her.

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What did the... Uh, I forgot the rest of the joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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