A grammatically correct mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." The mushroom says, "Why not, I'm a fungus."

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one is ever going to be there for you. Also, you're adopted.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

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Why did sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally

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Whats a dogs favorite thing to eat? Food.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre.

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What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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A bra walks into a dyslexic man.

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I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

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Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy wishes the same.

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wanna hear a joke? womans rights

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What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

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Hey Shea

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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What did Osama Bin Laden Say to Obama when they met? Nothing Osama is Dead

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Q: How do you count the population of Mexico? A: Take a census.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Fish don't run.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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A black guy and a white guy both get pulled over by a cop for speeding. The white guy is promptly released with a stern warning, whle the black guy is thouroughly questioned and has his car searched for drugs, with the probable cause being that the black guy has bloodshot eyes, reeks of weed and has a bong in his frontseat.

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knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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