Jack be nimble, Jack be quick... Jack didn't make it over the candle stick and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

One scientist is talking to another scientist. One say "what's the matter?" The other replies "my family is dead"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

"This is defamation!" proclaimed the Fox, as he sat in the panels of the courtroom. "I attest, with full honesty, Your Honor, that never have I said any of the allegations the two defendants have quoted upon me." He looked with contempt at the Ylvis brothers, who sat at the other end of the room. "I say, Your Honor," he continued, "that I never, ever in my entire life, said 'Gering-ding-ding-dingerdingerding', to which I am willing to testify."

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock, Knock! Who's there? Hatch! Hatchoo! Bless you!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I want seaman but sex with interracial men body builders. Please call me - 843-813-2788

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Your momma is so old, it is likely that she will pass away in the near future, and I would recommend you to spend some quality time with her.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q. what has 2 tums and a boner. A. a horny guy <3

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do silly people in a monastery say? stop munkying around.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Three children had stumbled into an old cottage where they were met by a wizard. The wizard pointed out a slide in the corner of his cottage. He told the children that they could each go down the slide and that they could shout out a word while sliding. He told them that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "GOLD" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of solid gold. Due to its extreme hardness the child was killed immediately on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Your dad must be a drug dealer because I saw him in your kitchen snorting cocaine

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's the difference between a raccoon and a bear? One's a raccoon, the other's a bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Whats black and white and red all over? A chopped up dalmation...

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the black man have no toes? Because during his climb of Everest, he got frostbite and they had to be amputated.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

knock knock whos there haha this is a shit joke anyone that reads this is a jimmy saville follower and got fingered up the bum hole violently by him love you

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Where am I

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Your mother is so average in weight and in attractiveness.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A duck walks into a bar Its theoretical comical universe implodes from the destructive weight of inevitable punchlines and everyone in the bar dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was the All-black Basketball team disqualified? Because they all died in a hotel fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? A: A SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

70% of heroin addicts die at some point in their life.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a black guy with a job? Responsible.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

If your fighting an octopus on mars how many lamps does it take to repair a dog house? Nine because a toaster cannot ride a bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's green, grows in my basement, and if fun to smoke? Mold. I lied about it being fun to smoke.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

mangos mandarins mushrooms mustache :{

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops