A moose walks into a store, walking up to an employee he says "Where are the potatoes?" The employee replies "Isle 5." The moose thanks the employee and heads off to find Isle 5. Upon reaching isle 5- he finds no potatoes.

WITH YOUR RED THUMBS COMBINED! I AM CAPTAIN MORAL! You: GOOOOO (AWAY) MORAL! CAPTAIN MORAL MAN, IS A HERO, GONNA TAKE GREEN THUMBS RIGHT BACK TO ZERO... Moral: Okay that is all I remember about the Captain Planet Theme song... GIVE ME RED THUMBS MUAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA! PS: Redhead, three months have passed (more or less) I wont call you because we agreed you would get of this fucking place, but I can visit you if you are a good little girl! And yeah I am calling you Red, Tifa just reminds me of Final Fantasy and your big bosoms so yeaaaaah get your little red haired cunt over here so we can chat yes?

A man walks into a metal bar He had a swell time.

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a doorstep? A: Matt.

Why was Stephanie sad? She dropped a washing machine on her toe

A blonde went to buy a Pizza and after ordering, the assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve. "Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"

Prostitution is bad.......

Two horses were in a field. One said "this is a good place to hide". The other said, "well, let's hope they don't Findus here!"

what would be the most epic fight ever chuck norris vs superman vs all legendary pokemon vs a giant who would win it me (im superman)

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one says "Boy, it sure is hot in here." The second one says "Holly shit! A talking muffin!" As muffins generally don't talk.

What is green and if it fell on you from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

Father "Why so down son?" Son "I've always been this short..."

whats the difference between and black guy and a bench? a bench can supoort a family

Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? Because he was a heroin addict

why do you always see black people smoking? because your neighbors are black and they smoke on their porch,a place you can probably see from your house.

What's worse than finding a worm in an apple? Finding out that your girlfriend is really a drag queen and that that is why you have never had sex. -Harrison

Racial Equality

8=> >->-o

whats worse than not being able to hear? not being able to breath fvd n avt were here

-Knock Knock - no one respond , they were brutally murdered by a drug addict.

I want some pudding. but I didn't have my meat. how can I have pudding?

Why do bitches love cheese toast? 'Cuz bitches love cheese toast

What do you call a bunch of whiteguys running down a hill? An Avalanche What do you call a bunch of black guys running down a hill? A Mudslide What do you call a bunch of mexicans running down a hill? A Jailbreak

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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