- Anti Joke

the bible

how do you make a plumber cry? you pull its pants up

why wouldn't the man's car work? because it was broken.

If you die, and have 5 cents in your pocket, does the toast still land jelly side down?

There is no I in team... But there is a u in suck. There is no I in team, but there is in awesome

What's funnier than 3 midgets in a treehouse? A talented comedian.

I f*cked your mom last night and she liked it. 8====D~~~~

Why did the fat Jew cross the road? To go to the bicycle shop to fix his puncture

What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A terrorist.

How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well, one must question: 1. How much the electrician knows when it comes to screwing in lightbulbs. 2. The amount of electricians present at the scene. 3. The type of equipment being used in the process. 4. The physical and mental stability of the electrician. The situation is solely dependent on the above factors.

your friend is so gay that he cuts of dicks as his part time job. and enjoys it.

There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

A black man walks into a bar. "Whoops, that's not the Weed shop!"

How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

HEY.... HEY YOU..... YEA YOU! IM TALKING TO YOU!!! yolo

kk

How do you get a blonde to eat crayons? Threaten to kill her parents with a hacksaw.

What do an eagle and a badger have in common? They both live underground...except the eagle

Roses are red Violets are blue Actually, now that i think of it, roses come in many colors And violets are actually violet in color, thus the name

I have 13 hedge hogs in one hand and 4 pineapples in my van how many pikelets does it take to cover the roof. Purple because aliens dont wear hats.

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

You wanna hear a touching story? Once a pon a time you died. The end. (all anti jokes posted by me will be adressed with -blarg)

Woah, I mean if I was not like super high right now, I would totally hate you for that, you are what we call a charming asshole Nero, you can do that kinda stuff and completely get away with it, I feel like I should be really ashamed... So like does it work on everybody reading this? That would be wack, so much fun to do that.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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