Q. What did the 300 pound Asian get for Valentine's day A. A jetpack. Except for the fact that the previous sentence was an obvious lie making this whole joke irrelevant.

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3 black guys walk into a restaurant and they sat down, ate their meals, and even tipped the waitor handsomely then for about 10 minutes they talk and then leave restaurant. Soon after a white guy comes and holds up the place for all it's money then killing three hostages before being taken down by the police.

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Q: What did the vomiting man say to his friend? A: BLEEEAAARRRGGHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to his wife? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the waiter in the restaurant? A: BLAAAAAARGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Leonardo DiCaprio? A: BLEEEEAAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the convenience store clerk? A: BLAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to your mom? A: BLAAAARRRGGGHH!!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Barack Obama? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!! Q; What did the vomiting man say to the King of Saudi Arabia? A: BLAAAAAAAAAAAEEEAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the bartender? A: BLLLEEEEAAAARRGHHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the funeral home director? A: BLLLEEEAAAARRRGGGHHH!!

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Erm Wait why would a chicken be on the side walk in the first place?

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How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

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yo mama's so dumb, she had to retake the 11th grade.

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How do you make a health inspector give you a good report? Throw his family into a pack of alligators.

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John: Knock Knock! Bill: Who's there John: John Bill: Oh hey John, come in

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What do you call an Arab guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Why had the father left his family. Because he was tired of dancing in a circle.

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Hi I am Michael Jackson... you have any young boys? My park is open :), the "nude dark caverns" can be scary, but I accompany them all, so relax. Moral: LEAVE MJ ALONE! ;(

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Niggas be like you ugly and you playing hard to get, yo ass already hard to want!

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What's worse than rain on your birthday? Dying

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How old was the baby when it took its first steps? That question is impossible to answer due to the fact the parents had an abortion and the fetus remained unborn.

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Your momma's so not fat that when a school bus rolled by here house, she just sat there and turned on oprah.

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Why did the blonde fall off the cliff? She was blind and deaf so she never knew where to go, and her parents kicked her out for her problems. It is a sad situation that noone wants to go through

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootise pop? No, seriously, does anyone know?

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A Nazi walks into a bar. No one really knows he's a Nazi and he doesn't talk about it that much in public, so he chats to some people then leaves after a few beers...

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A dyslexic man's favourite clothing shop is Tampon.

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What do you call a bunch of whiteguys running down a hill? An Avalanche What do you call a bunch of black guys running down a hill? A Mudslide What do you call a bunch of mexicans running down a hill? A Jailbreak

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Roses Are Red...Rolo's Are Round....Pull Down Your Pants And Let's Down!

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knock knock whos there? your dr you have cancer

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Did you hear about the Asian boy that entered the piano competition? He died yesterday.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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