roses are red, windows are clear, get off your ass and bring me a beer

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Where will you be in twenty years? Celebrating the twentieth anniversary of reading this question... unless you're older than 60, which by modern life expectancy, you'd be dead.

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Is your refrigerator running? No.

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The Tiarajudens is a Permian land-walrus.

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A panhandler came up to me today and said he hadn't had a bite in weeks, so I gave him some change.

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Shea's sty....

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Q: whats the difference between a t.v and a dead baby? A: i don't have a t.v in my garage

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What happened when Mark's hair died? He got depressed that he was growing old and the signs of it were showing.

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why did the midget beat the basketball player in a foot race? the basketball player got bit by a scorpion and died within minutes.

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How did Helen Keller's parents discipline her? Hopefully not too sternly. There's not much trouble a blind and deaf girl can get into, one would imagine.

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a girl got a friend request from a unknown guy. she chated him asking who he was. he replied vamos a tener sexo caliente y vas a pedir mas rapido mas duro! vamos ser estrellos porno. the girl deleted him as a friend B.A.

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What's worse than a bag of dead babies? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Jews.

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Whats luckier than finding a lucky penny? winning the lottery.

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Knock Knock the door's open, come in

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Adam is gay tom is here that's nice

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What do a baby and popcorn have in common? They both pop in an explosive manner when put in a microwave and both can be consumed by the person who may have put the baby and popcorn in it so if you think this is funny then you have some problems and i will shortly in some period of time when my schedule is cleared refer you to a licensed psychologist and we will make an appointment for you.

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Larchmont Park is the biggest shithole in the european union - Only the jippo part tho, lots of flies live in that part <3

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ur mum

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apple was gonna make a smaller ipod for kids but decided not to because they didnt want the name to be itouch kids.

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True or fales? Eddie Izzard.

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AIDS.

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whats in a red suit with a white beard and jolly......st.nick jerking of and blowwing a load in your stocking while taking a shit on you coffee table before theen hanging it back up over the fire place

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What did the Asian say to his racist friend? You're racist

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Why did the city disappear? Someone nuked it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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