How do you make a blonde woman act in a porno? You get her consent and pay her money.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

If pro is the opposite of con what's the opposite of progress? Retrogression.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is in your backyard and is stalking you? Corn

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is the most confusing day for chavs? Fathers day

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats funnier then two babies falling off a cliff? 2 babies falling off a cliff

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why do zebras have stripes? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "Where's my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the man say after he was shot? Nothing, because the bullet hit the man with so much impact that he instantly died and was unable to talk at the current time. Others in the surrounding area walked by as if nothing was there.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what do you get when you combine an astronaut, a microwave and a bathtub? A suicide investigation

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is not a car park? Clash of clans

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red, Bacon is red, Poems are hard, Bacon

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

thumb_up thumb_down -10

how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? TOO FUCKING MANY

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats the difference between Rolf Harris and a pedophile Whoops I didn't quite think this one through

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Now on breaking news!: Man found hanged upside down in a forest with 403 lethal knife-stabs in his back! Policeman: "We have concluded this is indeed the worst case of suicide ever"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme Others just don't

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Did you hear about the three Arabs that hijacked a plane? They drove it into the Pentagon.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Your under arrest for drug trafficking and possession of illegal firearms. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Your girlfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: humpty dumpty sat on a wall A: yeah right

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock knock. Who's there? Boo Boo who? I don't have a last name, it's just Boo

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the black guy go to jail? Because he committed an illegal crime.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man used a ruler to measure his foot, it was size 11

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I took a shower yesterday. You have no idea how hard it was sneaking that thing out of Home Depot.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops