What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree? one dead baby nailed to ten trees

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

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Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and way, along came a spider who sat there beside her and asked, "Hey bitch what's in the bowl?"

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What did the asian say to the President of the United States? I don't speak English

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Want to hear an anti joke? Me too thats why Im on this site.

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Whats the difference between the Taliban and a Football Team? I'm not on the football team.

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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What did Al gore say after he sold his TV Station to Arab Oil Money? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. CHA-CHING!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC for his job interview

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roses are red violets are blue if u wanna fight call 111 ( we r in new zealand)

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Im not random you just can't think as fa-bunnies

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Why did the wife scream when she saw her husband? Because he was dead

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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did you know towels can cause dry skin?

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you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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TOP COMMENT IS MINE!

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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When did joseph the deer learn to fly? - Never, deer can't fly

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You smell just like a black person. With your nose.

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a boy poops in class everybody laughs and now he has no friends

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Did you here about the Asian couple who had a stupid baby? They named him Sum Ting Wong

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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