Q: If 0+0=2 and four shampoo bottles is equal to two toaster strudels, how many pizza slices can Samuel eat? A: Winter because grass=6

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Kindly reject the offer and give it back to life.

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? a dead baby in a clown costume!!!

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q.how do u kill a jew? a.you glue a penny to the bottom of a pool

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how do you know if a fish is gay? you ask it

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Kid: My dad's brother has gone at it with a lot of women. Friend(sarcastically): Geez that's great! When was he born? Kid: '69

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A man rode into town on Friday and came out on Friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a couple of hours

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What Did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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What's the cure of cancer? Death.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van.

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How do you help a one-armed man down from a tree? Wave.

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How do you make spongebob come to Life? You kiss him????????

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh yeah... You're mute.

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? No Neither has he.

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www.xnxx.com

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what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

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Whats worse then finding a winning lottery ticket? Probably Everything

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Why did the chicken have a sore neck? Because the farmer cut the chicken's head off, and the body ran around for three minutes until it finally bled to death.

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Your mother is so fat that she's more prone to cardiovascular disease than other people who stick to the proper BMI or body mass index

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How did the frog fly? It drank a magic potion. How did the snake fly? It ate the frog How the the eagle fly? It already can.

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your mamas so fat she tried to hang herself but the rope broke.

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Why does the deer cross the road? It had just birthed two deer, one of which was hungry, and food was on the other side, the other had been hit by 4x4 Hemi V8 Supercharged F1-50.

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What do you call an Arabic man who crashed a plane into a business building? A careless pilot whose recklessness caused him to crash into a building. His stupidity and lack of plane control skill led to a horrible accident that involved the death of thousands of innocent people and the death of many business people's office pets.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops