Long joke Your such a downey

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how do you kill a man? slowly saw off all their limbs and then jump up and down on the torso and let all the organs fly out

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What do you call a woman when you're inside her? Mom.

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What did the monkey say to the lion? I'm being sexually abused by my handler, and feel so violated.

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if you're jesus and you know it, clap your hands

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one stop shop

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Laughter and joy... You are really sweet you know.. Excuuuse me princess! But Like Mickey Mouse never changed... From a Potato peeler to some fuckup private detective in a trenchcoat. So tell me, what character did Walt Disney draw before Mickey Mouse?

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a bench? Ones a person and the others a bench.

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Adam: knock knock!! Eve: who's there? Adam: don't be silly, just open the f*cking door!!

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the nintendo 3ds is being released this week. its the first 3d portable gaming device that doesnt require glasses, also known as a ball...

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I was watching Fox news.

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"Knock knock..." "come in"

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Why did the Catholic Priest get arrested? Tax-evasion.

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Have you seen stevie wonders new house No Neither has he

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Have you heard of that new jewish car? No, have you? No.

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A Finn, a Swede and A Norwegian went to an island. The Norwegian shot them all.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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John lazzaro likes dick

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2 guys are in a bar joking and having a good time. One guy looks to the other and says, "So...HOWS your wife?" The man replies "...She died in a horrible car accident." The man's friend then says "...I am sorry to hear that.." "Yeah I know I wish that God damn rat wasn't in the road goddamn fucker"

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who likes to gets to get fisted A) sock puppets

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Why did Peter Piper pick a peck of pickled peppers? Peppers help strengthen his immune system.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Very carefully.

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Knock, Knock! Who's there? Hatch! Hatchoo! Bless you!

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Girl goes to see a sex therapist. Girl says, "Doc, though this has never been a problem, for the past 3 months I have been unable to reach climax. Can you help me?" Doc says, "Yes.". And after an intense 18 months of therapy the doctor helped the girl to discover that her inability to reach climax was related to issues of childhood sexual abuse. And after another 36 months of therapy the girl finally found the courage to confront and forgive her unrepentant abuser, as she realized that by not forgiving him, it was like drinking poison while hoping that he would die. And though the doctor did help her,as he had said, the girl never regained her ability to reach climax again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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