little miss muffit sat on her tuffit eating her curds and weigh along came a spider and sat down beside her and said hey whats in the bowl?

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because he was tired of the publicity his friend, the chicken was getting for crossing the road that he wanted to do it himself. Halfway across the duck was wistfully hit by a car and sadly, his story is lesser known and 99% of the people in this world really don't care about him. Thumbs up if you're that 1% that shows sympathy toward the duck.

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Why is it OK to make fun of a deaf person? Because they can't hear.

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What is worse than being killed in a car crash? Having your girlfriend in the car with you.

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A horse walks into a butcher shop and asks for two apple pies. The butcher says "sorry, but we don't have apple pies. It's a butcher shop." And the horse says "nevermind, I came here on my bike."

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What do you call a mexican who steals toasters? A mexican toaster thief.

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theres a mexican, an asian, and an american in a plane, they're about to crash, so they all have to throw out something they have a lot of in their country. The Mexican throws out beans, and says "I have to many of these in my country." The Asian throws out rice and says "i have to many of these in my country." The American throws out the Mexican and says "I have to many of these in my country."

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M Factory Because she repeatedly wrote Ws

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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Why did all the boys come to my yard? Because of My milkshakes

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If you pull a pin out of a grenade, is it possible to put it back? I need a quick answer for this question.

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What did the Chicken say to the Interviewer Interviewer: how do you feel about your eggs chicken: the eggs are actually my periods. Interviewer: how do you feel about your periods ChicKen: you eat my periods everyday. people make cakes, omlettes and all these food out of my period. Imagine the world running on your period. Interviewer: what are your feelings on your periods Chicken: I have a mixture of feelings. i feel really scared because the farmers would kill me if i can have my periods. i feel glorified because the world runs on my eggs and i feel proud. I feel freaked out because the world actualy runs on my periods

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What is orange and annoying? A purple potato.

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Q: Why did the black man win the 100 meter dash? A: Because ever since he heard of this event, he has spent weeks preparing for it.

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If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Regression.

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a bucket of shit? A black man is a life form, more specifically a homosapian, while the bucket, as well as the shit, is an inanimate object.

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Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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a camel walks into a bar. it is kicked out because camels are not supposed to be in bars, there camels.

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Why did a girl get an STD? She had sex.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Nothing, it's still a dinosaur! Her sexual orientation is regardless. ~kyle hudson

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no? sense Microwave

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What did the man want a car for his birthday? 7.

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my mom just came up and saw me masturbateing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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