Two peanuts walk down the street. One was a salted.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

WHO THE FUCK IS NERO AND THAT BITCH THAT CLAIMS TO BE NOT NERO BUT NOT NEROMETAL OR WHATEVER? THEY BOTH CLAIM TO BE THE FUCKING MORAL MAN? I STARTED MY RISE TO INFAMY FOR LIKE... Fuck, when I was still studying, it was a fucking social project to prove that others opinions DO NOT MATTER SHIT IN THE END! And now these bastards (some cult faggot and Some "Nerometal" which are probably the same queer) CLAIM TO BE THE MORALMAN? I AM THE MORAL MAN! I AM YOUR FRIENDLY RAPIST/SOCIOPATH! YOU FAKE QUEERMASTERS! I CHALLENGE YOU!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

stephen hawking walks into a bar...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why are there so many homeless asians with squinty eyes, they cant find their way back home

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A paraplegic women falls off a boat. Regardless of the fact that she was wearing a properly inflated flotation device, she still managed to drown. She died instantly, the next day.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why is Andrew sleeping? Because he took and overdose on sleeping pills, he probably died in his sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you do when life gives you lemons? Kindly reject the offer and give it back to life.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Bob: Your mama's so fat, she rolled over four quarters and made a dollar! Todd: YOur mama's so fat, here's a picture of her tied up in my basement. Todd wins the insult war.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A guy named John wanted to finish his life. Now he is dead

thumb_up thumb_down +5

You do realize that in my home dimension of earth, I am just lying in the sun, typing on the goddamn laptop right? I mean are you retarded OR SOMETHING? I AM THE GODDAMN MORAL MAN! Moral: Honestly though, If I where like running around shouting this, I... Would begin to get slightly worried...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why do elephant tusks stick out? For uprooting trees and bushes, and for defending their young.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you get when you take a bag of chips and divide it by 5? a Nike store worker's meal

thumb_up thumb_down +3

homosexual

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet... ...then I made fun of him and laughed.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? What you probably have is a lawyer on holiday with his children, allowing himself or herself to be buried in order to please said children.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

So there's this white guy with a huge dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What's worse than being stung by a bee A: The Rwandan Genocide

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the black guy lose the race? He toke an arrow to the knee

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what's worse than being hiv+? having full blown aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops