A captain crashes his boat into a rock. He has the option to save to save his wife or his best friend. He saves neither and drowns.

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Two penguins, sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap!" The other says, "What do you think I am?! A clock?"

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whats worse than a baby impaled on your lawn... the universe being consumed by a giant albino ape with over sized testicles

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How do you make asian ice cream you mix it with a textbook

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Q:When a T- Rex walks into your house what does it mean? A: Your on pot, T-rex's are extinct

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How do you drown a dumb blonde? Hold her underwater.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because he had legs.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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what happened to the fat lady she went on a diet and is now skinny but she cant resist mcdonalds big macs so she quickly become fat

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Where would a 65 year old man find a young, attractive woman who would take any interest in him? Very likely in a hospital, but that would be a professional interest, not a sexual one.

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whats funny about about adailia rose?nothing shes just fucked up in every way shape and form. but 100% defenatly stick my cock in her shitter

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What do you do if you are surrounded by 2000 Hungry cannibals? You talk to them in a calm yet determined diplomatic voice, then you become a part of them. Moral: A part of them... Forever.

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How many turrets patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? Cocksucker!!

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what's better than winning the special olympics?.. Not being retarded

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What did the cow say to the chicken? - Muuuuhhhhhhhhh!

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass

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hold the planet Dumb ass well I'm doing something else right now dumb ass

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Why did the white girl become a lesbian? Because she was raped and had no more trust in the male gender.

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whats the difference between me and callum ? one soul.

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Where does Elmo live? In Sesame Street.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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What do you call a flat-chested woman with a penis? A man.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he's CHICKEN.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? - To rape you. Knock Knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops