A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, the bear turns to the rabbit and says "I have colon cancer."

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they told me not to write here but i did

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Why was the elf sad Because a polar bear ate his family

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You know your in Houston when... The highway sign says so.

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a black guy board a plane. Who gets kicked off first? The jew for his unruly behavior towards the flight attendant.

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why did the titanic sink, it was hit by a iceberg

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"Did you fall from heaven?...Cause your face is really messed up."

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Why did the duck turn black? an oil spill

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Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

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What happened when the dinosaur walked into a lake? It got wet

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So, a man walks into a doctor's office. He says, "Doctor, it hurts when I bent my arm like this." The doctor tells the man that it is simply a sprained muscle after thorough examination.

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When is a door not a door? When it's a pair of titties!

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Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

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a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

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Knock Knock The door's open, wipe your shoes off on the matt

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

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If the human population held hands around around the equator A significant portion of them would drown.

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A man and a bird are on the edge of a cliff. The man falls off and dies and the bird flies away because birds can fly and people can't.

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Hickory Dickory Dock, Three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck 1, and the other 2 escaped with minor injuries

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Why did the really unfunny man buy AntiJoke The Book??? It was a good deal and only $9.99.

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What did the boy with four arms get for Christmas? A Laptop. Why couldn't he use it? He had no fingers.

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What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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