What do you call a dear with no eyes? A no-idear

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Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

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A Scotsman, an Irishman and an Englishman walk into a bar... They enjoy their drinks and leave.

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people say thers saftey in numbers, try telling that to 6 million jews

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled it up, slightly spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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A: Doctor doctor help me! B: Sorry, I'm not actually a doctor, stop calling me that!

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Starving.

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Why is Texas so hot? The sun

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Why should you never eat a jellyfish on a Wednesday? Because it will sting you with its poison.

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Why was the Pædophile arrested? He hit his wife.

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Snape dies. ^ Spoiler Alert tarelona major

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Finding this website has distracted me and has taken up a large majority of my time.

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why was the little boy crying? he wasnt, he died 2 weeks ago

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What does a white man say when you slug him in the face with a club. Ow.

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What's the difference between a woman with an IQ of 160, and a man who is mentally challenged? The woman wasnt premature and abused from an early age.

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Why was Joe afraid of Steve? Because Steve raped and killed all of Joe's three children two weeks ago.

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Who do you call when you see a ghost on the street? GHOSTBUSTERS!!!! no, ghostbusters are not real, you call the police

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What did the physicist say when he got his penis stuck in a test tube? Ah jeesh! I got my penis stuck in a test tube.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

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What did the terrorist do to the small village? Destroy it with a bomb vest.

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man walks into a bar his lack of awareness means that he didnt notice the maintenance sign in front of him he falls in a 200foot deep hole and dies.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Go ask your mom.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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Why was Mary's phone call suddenly disconnected? She was raped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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