What did the blind man say to his teacher? Nothing, blind people can't talk.

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why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

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People thought hitler said "I want to burn the jews" he really said "I want a glass of juice".

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What's black, white, and red all over? Numerous different objects because many different things can posses a variety of colors, including the ones listed above.

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Why did Bruno Mars explode? He caught a grenade for ya.

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What do you call a guy with no arms? Names.

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You go on Nero, he got all red, not sure if he is mad or ashamed or both, but we can all tell that man is jealous. Employee.

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Nero here, nice to see you guys again, now you know why my babbling has been excessive (and pissed at the comments below, but now that the pills are working I am calm) Anyway, yeah point Zero is my "world" now, and its been thriving under my values (something I feared would just work on paper, and if so such beliefs would all been for nothing) As for hero... Well insert something like "I am no hero, I just do what is right" or something cheesy, or... Well, thats what I do really... Since nobody uses this site Ill extend the time you "former followers" can chat, as I got some nice stuff to share, and might just share a bit before I pass away (nah, but I will sleep when tired), I got a lot to do tomorrow.

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John Cena for president

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What's hairy and sags? A ball sack

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Why couldn't the pirate play poker? Poker is a tricky game - maybe he'd never been taught how to play.

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What's green and eats rocks? A green rock eater What's purple and eats rocks? It hasn't been discovered by science yet...

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Why did the man put his money in the freezer? hes retarded.

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What do you call a horny horse? A unicorn.

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why did the zombie eat bob because bob was delicious

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Why was the snowman afraid of the sun? Because he would melt that day and die

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I honestly have no idea what is upsetting you, why would I lie about my name? Please don't leave, you do remember me don't you? Can I call you over?

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I'm on the Seafood Diet. I eat seafood to replace fatty red meats, in conjunction with fruit and vegetables.

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Two octopuses are swimming in the ocean. Suddenly a scuba diver spots one of the octopus. The octopus looks at the human and swims away.

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A: What do you call a deer with no eyes? A: I got NoEyeDeer!!!

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What starts with "F" and ends in "uck" Firetruck.

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Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely and should probably go to the hospital.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench. The bucket.

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R: Caught my wife cheating the other night. P: You bitter? R: Yes. I am.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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