A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. They order some drinks, sit quietly and stare at their shoes until they've finished their drinks, then go back home and wallow in loneliness, wishing their social skills weren't so abysmal.

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Q: How do you make a baby float. A: Put it in a blender and add ice cream.

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Two stoners walk into a bar. They didn't drive there because they were high and wanted to enjoy a cool, evening stroll.

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Q: Why did the white man die? A: because he had cancer

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. But if you answered poop you aren't wrong.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Why did the skeleton cross the street. He didn't.

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Roger D. ASS , stops, has a ponder , and walks out of a s.t.i clinic ,without being seen

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Why did the short man fall down the stairs? He got shot in the face with an assault rifle.

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What did the blind kid say to his dad Nothing , his dads dead

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, the holocaust didn't actually happen, besides I hate jews

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Why did the man eat his wife? He was a cannibal

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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An African American walks into a bar. The bar tender is a racist, so he asks the African American gentleman to leave.

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Whats the difference beetween a pilgrim and a jack-o-lantern? Jack-o-lanters didn't discover america.

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What did the man do when he went in the bathroom he took a crap wiped his butt and washed his hands and went back to meet his family at the dinner table

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What does DNA stand for? The National Association of Dislexics.

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knock knock. who's there? no one. no one who? no one who?

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Holy sh** a talking muffin!!!

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there was a black man n a white man they went into a hauted house the black man saw a penut butter slice n tryed to eat it then the ghost said dont eat the penut butter slice so the black man ran away so then the white man came and saw the penut butter slice the white man toke a bite then the ghots said i told u once i told you 2 i wipe my ass with that penut butter slice

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if a fat guy in a red suit comes into your house on christmas. its not santa your about to get raped from chewy(:

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whats worse than speaking with your mouth full? pooing with your mouth full

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A man walked into a bar. He was only 19, but technically a man. Underage drinking is not O.K.

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a woman gets hit by a motorcycle whose fault was it?......... the man's, he shouldn't have driven the motorcycle in the kitchen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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