George Zimmerman walks into a bar .

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Plumber, ma'am." "Thank God you're here. I haven't been able to take a shower in three days."

what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

How do you know when it is a Mexican's birthday? They are walking around with "happy birthday" balloons.

Whats sad about a black man killing himself? That shaft DVD that he rented will probably be late now.

What's red and funny? The holocaust

why was the little boy brutally murdered? there was a serial killer in his town.

Rose are red Violets are blue all I what to know is what do that mouth do

Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme Refrigerator

My friend thought that an onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I threw a watermelon at his face.

Read a Book.

What's the easiest way to become President? Have a background in politics and a catchy campaign slogan that voting Americans can relate to.

High enough to know that fucking IQ is a terrible way to measure the total potential of the mind, which is potentially limitless depending on the person`s contact and control over the subconscious state.

A dyslexic walks into a bar. He called it a bra because he was dyslexic and dyslexics misspell things. People laughed at him because mental disabilities are inherently humorous to them.

What do you call a chicken with no head? A chicken with no head.

Stop. Seriously stop.

kara is funny she loves her money so she buys a bunny for her honey

Why did the eskimo drag the seal into the igloo? Because the whale wouldn't fit.

Why did the kid poo his pants? Because he was Matt Daly

"Hey hey hey, did you hear the joke about the guy with terminal cancer?" "No." "Sorry to break it to you then."

A hispanic priest with a huge boner walks into a bar.

A man walks up to his boss and asks "Do you want to hear a funny joke?". His boss replied,"Yes". Before the man could finish his joke, his boss had a heart attack and died instantly. The next day, when he's in his car with his wife, he asks "You want to hear a joke?", the wife replied "Sure,". before the man could finish his joke, a car hit them and the wife died but the man happened to survive. The next day, he sat on a bench mourning, his friend walked up to him and asked, "Why are you sad?". the man answered, "Every time I try and tell a joke someone dies!", his friend said, "That's not true, just tell me the joke." "Ok" "Two Pigeons walk into a-". Before he can finish his joke his friends is kidnapped and killed. Sadly, the man walks to a ledge, jumps off and commits suicide. The End

Hey babe, do you like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people? Because I like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people.

Hey, you are competitive, but let me have the last word here and you will like it. If you keep poking your nose constantly, the effect will actually overlap, making it stronger and stronger, by all means though, make sure you keep some nose working alright?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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