Why wasn't the little boy allowed to get a dog? Because the orphanage he lives at doesn't allow dogs.

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Why did the woman stop making a sandwich for her husband? Because he's dead.

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when life gives you lemons, force a hobo to eat them because lemonade is going to suck if life doesnt give you any sugar.

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Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

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Why did the man walk into the wall? He was blind.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Knock knock, Who's th- IMA FIRIN' MA LAZOR

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Why did the Fly die? Cause it died the average life span is 30 days.

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knock knock

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A dog walks into a bar, followed by his blind owner.

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What did Helen Keller do at a concert? Sit.

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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What do you call a mexican man working at a Taco Bell? A young man freshly out of high-school, who could not get into college because his family is sadly struck with poverty. He also has a baby on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection when having relations with his girlfriend while he was intoxicated. I wish him the best of luck!

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a Guinness.

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What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

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What did the man say when he found a bar of soap in his mailbox? Why is there soap in my mailbox?

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What's a dead baby look like? I don't know, I don't fap with my eyes open.

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1657 is a cool number, when a leprachaun sings it sounds like pie drinking an obese penguin (do you know what I mean....) :D

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Knock Knock... Who's there? JUST LET ME IN!

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Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

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Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and way, along came a spider who sat there beside her and asked, "Hey bitch what's in the bowl?"

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whdid the cop say to the robber as he ran out of the bakery? I caught you bread handed

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how do you know if your friend is your best friend? if he cries you cry, if he laughs you laughs, if he jumps out a window you laugh again.

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Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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