How much do polar bears weigh? Between 800 and 1600 pounds

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Knock knock Who's there . I said who's there. Sadly this poor man didn't understand he had just been door bell ditched.

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Which side of an ostrich has the most feathers? Obviously the outside! Who would be so low educated to even have the idea that an ostrich can have feathers on the inside of it's body?

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I have a riddle. What's black and white and red all over? Nothing. That's impossible.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite movie? Around the block in 80 days.

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:)Knock, Knock :(Who's there? :)Barbie :(Barbie who? :)Barbieq

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do you like hardcore music? ya i love brokencyde

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Why couldn't a little kid turn around in a hall? He has a spear in his back.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cow moo

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Why do mexicans like tacos? Because tacos are a very well liked food and they happen to taste good

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Your mom is so stupid that she failed out of high school and now has two jobs to support her family.

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A man walked into a bar. It was closed, so I don't see how this was possible.

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Q: Why did Suzie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock-knock? Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Q: why does the man like men? A: because he is gay

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A man walks into a bar and sees another man crying at the other end he asked what's wrong the man replies well its a long story I have time replyed the other man ok well me and my wife are always arguing. So I divided to go to the library after hours of reading I see a book about history and as im reading it its time to go home and when I was going to check it out I forgot my library card I get home and me and my wife make up and have a baby thats not bad at all said the other man yea you've never lost ur library card

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Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: Well, he was in the first tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over warn everybody in the second tower. While he was in the second tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL! Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on a park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich with extra mayonnaise)

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How do you kill a lawyer? Stab him 50 times in the chest, slit him open and take all of his organs out one by one. Burn what you have left. That should do the trick. OMG I AM EVIL

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A hispanic priest with a huge boner walks into a bar.

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Why did the man jump into the river? He wanted to go for a swim, but the pool was closed, so he swam in the river.

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Yo mama is so old, she might die soon! - Louis

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What did the white guy say when a black man punched him? Ow, i am sueing for assault. that is a crime

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Why couldn't the girl eat her pizza? She had no face.

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What ryhmes with turtle rape

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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