Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Why was the prison full of black people? Because they were all their for security internships.

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What did the taxi friver say to the man? "You forgot your briefcase"

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what is worse than tripping over a tree root? getting mauled by a 60 foot bear

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Your mom came to my house last night. We played chess.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive Umm, She's dead

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Why did the young boy drop his bus. He was hit by an ice cream.

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Why does the Taliban forbid people from having sex standing up? It might lead to dancing. And then, of course, death.

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The cow's name was Friday, But can you guess what day it died? Monday, it had a fun weekend with its family before it was brutally slaughtered.

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Peter charas threw a masterball at a level 20 Zubat!!!!!

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Weebles wobble, but paralyzed kids fall down.

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? It depends on how sound is defined

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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What did the underaged man say when he walked in the bar? He asked for a Coke.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge. Why did Sally fall off her bike? She was hit by a falling monkey and fridge.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

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The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

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Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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Q - What do you call a bunch of white people on a bench? A - The nba - Cool Bean

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A brunette, redhead, and a blond were on a road trip when their car broke down in the middle of a desert. The red-head offered to walk down the road to get help, for none of them knew how to repair the car. She walked down the road in the direction they were headed, but never came back. The redhead and blond died several days later in the shade of the car as a result of extensive heat exhaustion.

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What's long, hard, and has come in it? A long, hardcovered book.

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Q: How do you stop a hobo from stealing your money A: You steal the hobo

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what did the cop say to the robber... freeze bitch hope you like prison food and penis

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My wife made me a sandwich

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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