What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well thats a stupid question, just one.

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What the difference between a mexican family and a bench? The bench can support the family

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Wanna hear a funny anti joke?...........................................................................................Funny anti joke

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Why don't elephants smoke? Because they would be afraid of the fire, and they are much more adversely affected by recreational drugs than humans are.

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So three black men walk into a bank, one of them uses the ATM, they all proceed to the exit after he is done.

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One guy asks another guy, "Why did the sleeping man get sucked into the sinkhole?" The other guy replies, "I don't know, I heard about that a few months ago, it seems highly improbable statistically. "

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Parent: Please, my son have sinned. Please cleanse him from his sins. Priest: Hmmm, it may be hard to cleanse him from his demons. You may leave him in my car today. We shall enter the dark chambers where we will battle your demons Parent: Thankyou Priest: Alone, in the dark. It will be painful for him, but he shall be cleansed *wink* Parent: whut?

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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What's worse than finding your cat dead? Finding your cat dead because it choked on your goldfish.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? I ASKED YOU FIRST!

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Why didn't the cab driver pick up the black man? Because the cab driver already had a passenger and it would be unprofessional to pick up another person.

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why can't timmy tie his shoes? Because timmy's an earth-worm

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Some of the people on this site who write these "jokes" are complete morons. Many of them believe that racism, sexism, and spamming is hilarious. Each one of them is a ****ing dumbass and needs to be removed from this site. Racism is not funny, people are murdered because of it! Those who think that they are being funny by insulting others need to get a life and stop ruining this site for others who want to read good jokes free of racism. Africans, Hispanics, Jews, and everyone else deserves better than to be insulted like this. And I'm a white, so take that you racist whores! I apologize for those of you who have good humor that have to read this, but those other jerks need to be told off.

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If you have read this its to late. You have already read this. Im am very sorry.

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Your mom is so fat, that last night after reading and edition of Cosmo, she skipped dinner and cried herself to sleep due to her inability to live up to such an unrealistic feminine stereotype.

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how do you make an idiot laugh? tell him a joke from antijoke

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The doctor said to the boy that a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down. He is diabetic.

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What is better then winning the special olympics? Not being retarded

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happy birthday! Its not my birthday! Oh i just assumed from your smell. That doesn't make much sense does it? It does. No it doesnt. Are you sure? Yes. Oh. Do i smell? Like chickens. Oh. I wish i were alive. What? Bobbing for apples? what? You smell like a toilet seat. Fine! You never spend time with me any more! I dont like you! oh. you know who nobody likes? Who? amanda burchell.

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A criminal walks into a bar, and shoots the bartender and has his way with the waitress. Its his bar now.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Hurricane Irene.

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What's taters, precious? The potato is a starchy, tuberous crop from the perennial Solanum tuberosum of the Solanaceae family.

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So my teacher came upto me, and says "At the end of this ruler is a idiot" so I said "Which end?" I got detention.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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