Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

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How does a t-rex eat spaghetti? He didn't he ate a velocaraptor instead.

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Q: Why wasn't the baby playing with his blocks? A: Because his face was stapled to the floor

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Which is the smallest? A. Jupiter B. Whale C. Cow D. Bracelet Answer: D

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42

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Kittens are orange, puppies are grey, and they both make good pets

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Why did piglet look down the toilet for pooh? He had a horrible mental illness

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REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REDD REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED................................that is all LOL

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What did one Platypus say to the other Platypus? Nothing, Platypuses can't talk. However, they are the only mammal to lay eggs.

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How many ants are in the kitchen? None. We killed them all.

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How do you make a baby stop crying? Make it smell its own diaper then, drown it in its own tears.

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How many pianos does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb, and one to play a motivational tune.

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What's the difference between car keys and truck keys? Literally nothing.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Q. why did I get hurt A. My pants fell off

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A priest and a rabbi walks into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "is this some kind of joke?".

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The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, 'at least it shall be over quickly.'

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A hispanic priest with a huge boner walks into a bar.

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Wow, that is one of the things I would think I would react all bad to, but that`s, a strangely attractive quality in you.

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What's the difference between you and a sick duck? I forget the rest but your mother's a whore.

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twenty three roaches walk into a bar. the bar is evacuated due to insects.

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Why do fat people make such good slaves? They're too fat and lazy to escape. Unfortunately, if you want your slave to be fat, you actually have to feed it properly.

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ur gey

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Twelve muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin said "Where are we?" Another muffin said "Yikes! A talking muffin!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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