How do you keep black people from hanging around in your front yard? Hang them in the back..

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A man is playing pacman, on his last life, and is cornered. He inserts another coin in the slot.

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Whats worse than finding 2 worms in your apple? 2 Holocausts.

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Why was the man crying? He has aids.

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How many Jews do you have to kill in order to make a museum? 6 Million.

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What's the Chinese guy's favorite color? Blue.

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Doctor, I've caught a cold. Take a Halls.

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Why did the kitten cross the road? Because its owners abandoned it.

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A blind man cant see this joke, so I probably shouldnt write it..

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Why was john's balls itchy? Because he recently gained a severe infestation of pubic lice.

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Then that means that, I thought I was working with you? No wonder things did not work out, no wonder jerks like Jonas "the wizard" got inside my team, he was recommended by this "Axel Knight"

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Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

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Q: What did the newborn dumpster baby say to the raccoon? A: Nothing. Newborn babies cannot talk.

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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Whats black, white, and Asian all at the same time? A panda

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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How many fish fingers does it take to change a lightbulb? Five.

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What do you do with a dog that has no legs? Take him to the vet and have him put to sleep, it's the only humane thing to do.

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Roses are blurry so is everything else I need glasses

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Why is Suzie at the bottom of the cliff? Because I pushed her. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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What's worse than cancer? Nothing.

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Why did the white guy die because he had cancer

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who sells coke and ruins lives? Vagina Parker

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What did the mother say to her child that was washing the dishes? "Sweep the floor."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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