Hey did you hear the one about the pizza oven? No.

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Why didn't the chicken not get across the road? Cause it's head got shot off by some drunk asshole

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There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright in the middle of the night and realized that his house was being robbed.

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What's the color of a healthy kidney. I have no f***ing idea.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing?? ShE had no arms. Knock knock... Whose there? Not Susie

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What did Hitler say to the Jewish boy? Nothing, Hitler died many years ago...

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What is white and re(a)d all over? White paper that is dyed red.

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You know what's sad and Funny? When a guy walks into a gay bar and doesn't get hit on.

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Why did I write this joke Because I'm board as hell

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What's the difference between a cow and some dirt? They're the same except for almost everything

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When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

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Gregory: Hey, aren't you that pretty girl I saw from the party? Jenny: Huh? Gregory: No wait, it can't be you. Because you are WAY prettier. Jenny: Aw, that's so sweet, lemme give you my phone number. Gregory: Okay I'm ready to copy Jenny: It's 1-800-get-a-life-loser Gregory: Biitch

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I saw Scarface uncut last weekend. It was called Face

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Imagine a scenario Add a Rhubarb Crumble into your scenario Add your mother and father sitting together watching the news in your scenario. Your scenario should take place in an old people's home Add an Olympic athlete doing the splits into your scenario If there were any crane-flies in your scenario, be sure to subtract them at once. Divide your scenario by two. Your scenario should now be a mental image of flying horses and a hippopotamus eating a large salmon mousse. There will be a pig tied to a pair of sunglasses.

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I was walking down the street the other day and I saw this lady and suddenly: POTATOES!!!!!!!!!

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Q:Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: he isn't because 6 and 7 are both concepts that cannot have fear like a living being

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Knock Knock Who's There 42

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Why did the Old man die? He died of old age.

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The worst part of waking up, Is no Folgers in your cup.

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what do you call your mom? mom

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A man serves his wife dinner. She laughes and tells him it tastes funny. He then procedes to tell her that is because he put large amounts of poision into the food.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was an avocado

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your mammas so fat tha-- my mother is dead. oh... sorry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops