There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do Mexicans like their eggs? It's a matter of personal opinion, of course.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's so great about twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

This sentence is a lie.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

One,two,skip a few... five,six,seven,eight...(and so on ad infinitum)

thumb_up thumb_down +14

a black man has a shotgun. having an IQ of 11 he shot his hands off

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you teach another person's son to ride a bike? You don't. Let his real parents teach him to ride a bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Friends are like balloons.. If you stab them they die.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the man so cold? He was in a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the boy fall off the zipline? He had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I love you, you love me. Barney is fat and not entertaining.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Little Timmy walks up to the teacher during class and asks "Can i use the restroom?" The teacher says "I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy says "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a bar with a monkey..I forget the rest but your mother is a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy Wuzzy had cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the father tell his son who was caught stealing from the teacher? --The father didn't say anything because he walked out on his family when the children were born.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

- Hi, my name is Sarah Lennon. - Wow! Are you related to Sarah Palin?!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I violate everyone that do not thumb me green, and vi0late the children, the parents, and the person of those that thumb me red... Its not about the sex, its about the domination... You might even like it...Your kids? Not so much... Well sometimes... Green thumb me, and I will... Meh, then you are awesome... friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Subscribe below, address tracker activated... LETS GO!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's three times More dangerous than a war? Three wars

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A wife asks her husband to treat her like she's special. So he tells her, "Gooooooooooo... Maaaaaaaaaaaaake... Meeeeeeee.... Aaaaaa.... Saaaaaaaandwitch

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What does a tomato and a human have in common? They both spray red liquid when stabbed repeatedly

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I obviusly meant: Have you ever seen a cow chasing boots? Because the one with the cowboy chasing boots doesn't make sense...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops