So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's worse than being named SAID? Having AIDS.. And getting a bee sting - it hurts like ****!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the little boy didn't finish his dinner? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is blue and has clouds in it? The sky.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

a cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. the cat is then escorted out of the bar because a cat in a bar is unsanitary. and they do not serve milk.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many fish does it take to brush their teeth? Jp's worth of fish isn't enough.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whats funny? this joke. just kidding. your face.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks in to a bar, remembering he was actually going to the hardware store, he heads out and leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did nearly headless nick say when he became headless nick. Nothing because he doesnt have a head

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why didn't Jesus like Pizza? Because Pizza doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you get when you cross a hamster with a zebra? A genetic abomination that you should put out of it's misery.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is a jew in space? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why don't men have menstruation? -Because it sucks

thumb_up thumb_down +10

haha

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Nothing. His parents are dead and Santa doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? He has to on his commute to work. He is a taxpaying citizen who does his 8-5 job to try and cut out a decent living for his wife and kids, so stop questioning the route that he takes to get to work.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Where did Susie go after the explosion? I don't know: she was nowhere near the explosion at the time that it happened. She probably got up to use the bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it looking for food for it was starving to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why couldnt the old man ski? There was no snow.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why couldn't the man play frisbee? he was a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops