Roses are red,Lemons are sour,Open your legs and give me an hour.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

* Why is this dog barking? * Because he's a dog, if he were a cat it would meow.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

hohifooncuiohicvsdhn ioshd

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, and they don't have to be blonde, anyone can screw in a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Where does the Queen of England live? England.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Cat ate a battery, did volts.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Try it Yourself »

thumb_up thumb_down -18

2 guys walk into a bar but the third one has known about what happens to the third guy but since he is reading this in a newspaper and his unaware of his surroundings he walks into the bar anyway and feels very foolish.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What has a fiery tail and is mentally handicapped? Charetard.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A jew walks into a bar He receives a phone call and promptly leaves

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Jennifer walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender's name was Steven. His friend's sister who was my cousin's ex wife has the same name as the girl Jennifer. That's what I heard.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

whats the difference between a black guy and pizza? a pizza can feed a family.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

thumb_up thumb_down -18

save me from the nothing ive become

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A 16 year old girl went into a bar. The police realized she did not have an ID, and arrested her.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man walks into a psychiatrists office, naked but wrapped in Saran Wrap. The Doctor takes one look at him and says, "I can clearly see your nuts."

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I used to be schizophrenic, but we're ok now.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? -- Because it was dead Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -- Because it was stapled to the squirrel

thumb_up thumb_down -18

My friend thinks he's smart, He said that onions are the only food that make you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you make a clown happy then sad? You give him pot then shoot him in the foot

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Ben: Something smells like updog. Jenny: What's updog? Ben: Nothin' much

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man walks into a haunted house and screams. He had arrows on a nail.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops