How do u save a black person from drowning? Take ur foot off the back of there head

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a man walks into a bar he suffer's bad injuries by Mad

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Cyrus: Can you dig it?! Phil: I can feel it calling in the air tonite……..oh lord

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can you touch your toes? no

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Fat people

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Where am I

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A family has been forced out of their house by ghosts. Who are they gonna call?... Their insurance company.

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A duck walks into a bar. the manager kicks him out considering animals are not allowed in the bar.

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what did the doctor say to another doctor? we are doctors

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My family is dead

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There once was a man from Peru, he couldn't fit into his shoe. He went to Brazil bought a big. Swallowed it and died.

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Why did a little kid have a long face Because his face was stretched out by a truck wheel

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So, a Turtle, a Giraffe, and a Hippopotamus walk into Stop-N-Shop. They are quickly excorted out and the Zoo is contacted to take the wild animals. The Manager wonders why they were there in the first place.

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whats worse then being married to your dog eating your dog out

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Why did the man Jump of a bridge? Because he got sick of his life and he wanted to die.

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why was the little boy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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The adventures of HAROLD THE MONGOOSE: Harry dug a hole. He did not like that hole so he dug a new one. He liked that hole so he did not dig another one. Harry slept on a rock. He did not like that rock. So he smashed it with a ham. Harry found a new rock. He liked that rock so he didn't smash it with a ham. Harry ate a snake. He did not like that snake so he regurgitated it. Harry ate another snake. He liked that snake so he did not regurgitate it. Harry encountered a bush. He did not like that bush. Unfourtianately for Harry, that Bush became president.

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Two guys walk into a bar, a spanish guy and a black guy. They get some drinks, call a taxi to arrive home safe. And kiss their wives and kids goodnight. They go to bed early after reading a wallstreet journal. And wake up early so they can both go to their jobs as college professors. To white kids.

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Why was Michael Jackson so bad at dancing? Because he had a broken leg.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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Dave:Hi Mark:Hi

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I don't usually drink beer, but when I do it usually doesn't take much for me to feel the effects of intoxication.

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Why was Little Timmy crying ? He dropped his ice cream. Why did he drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus. Knock-Knock! Who's there? Not Little Timmy.

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Why is the horny toad named that way? Because its a misnomer of the horned lizard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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