Two crabs are standing on a wall. One of them falls down. The second one's name is Georges.

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Roses are red violets are blue, your library book is overdue, and if you dont pay the fine...i'll punch you in the mouth.

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Q: Why was the math book sad? A: Because he recently found out that his parents died in a tragic car accident.

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''Hey, this is absolutely true. There's an organization now called 'Draft Dick Cheney for President, 2012.' Yeah. Good luck with that. They tried to draft Dick Cheney five times during Vietnam. That didn't work.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? Lawyers exist, are alive and despite all claims to the contrary, can withstand sunlight, garlic and the sign of the cross. They also have reflections and whilst they may eat black pudding from time to time they don't depend on blood as a source of nutrition.

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A guy walks into a bar. He loses conciseness because of the force of the metal bar hitting his skull.

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If monkeys ate trees, than what would trees be made out of? No one knows because that will never happen.

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what do yo call two dog? dogs.

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Why was the cancer ward sad? They just lost a patient who couldn't ward off cancer.

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I'm black and I will beat your children. (This is not an anti-joke)

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justin bieber walks into a bar, he is then kicked out because he's under age.

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Q: What did Steve say to his teacher on the first day of school? A: "My name is Steve."

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Q. You guys want to here a joke? Kids: Yeah! A. Women's rights

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the tiger.

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy but here's my chew toy throw it maybe!

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Why was the boy sad he ate a loaf of bread? Because ducks ate him alive after that.

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What's worse than 9/11? FaZe Banks' upload times

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There once was an old lady who lived in shoe. She had so many children, her uterus fell out.

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How did the blonde die? She got swallowed whole by a 1,000-foot scorpion.

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darude- sandstorm

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a person who will soon die of beeties

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What's worse than a trash can of dead babies? The one at the bottom that has to eat it's way out.

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What did the furry tweet when he went to a furry convention? A: I'm at a furry convention

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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