Why did the chicken cross the road? 7 ate 9!

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Chuck Norris has a chin under his beard.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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i hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Cuz she had no arms! B I T C H

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Q: What did Peter say after a long day of work when he got home? A: Nothing, in fact he has job, home, family, or anyone to help him. His leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

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Richard Nixon walks into a bar. Everyone is thrilled to meet a former President of the United States who returned from the grave.

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Your momma is so dumb... that when she took an IQ test she score pretty low on it.

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What did the father say to his child Christmas morning? you're adopted

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Holy mother moley! Britain just brexited! Now there's no more Britain. Britain is all gone.

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Why couldn't the pirate enter into the movie? Because he's dead.

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What did the doctor say to the pregnant mother? Your babies dead

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A black man provides has a normal day job and provides for his family while staying faithful to his wife.

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How do you throw a party in space? You planet!

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69

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A rooster lays an egg on the tip of a roof. Which side does it fall to? Roosters don't lay eggs

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2 guys walk into a bar the first gys says id like a beer the second guy says me to

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What's funnier than diarrhoea? Cancer What's funnier than cancer? The holocaust

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What has two legs and bleeds alot? Half a cat!

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How do you torture Helen Keller? You put her on a table and slowly pull her limbs off

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How many alzheimers patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because animals walking across a paved street is a very common occurrence ever since the industrialization of the modern world.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops