How many dead hookers can you fit in a trunk? Five

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Roses are red violets are blue, your library book is overdue, and if you dont pay the fine...i'll punch you in the mouth.

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Two crabs are standing on a wall. One of them falls down. The second one's name is Georges.

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Q: Do these jeans make me look fat? A: No your fat makes you look fat.

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what is a mix of a bull dog and a shih tzu. a bread of dog that has a shaggy face and long hair

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear? The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? Lawyers exist, are alive and despite all claims to the contrary, can withstand sunlight, garlic and the sign of the cross. They also have reflections and whilst they may eat black pudding from time to time they don't depend on blood as a source of nutrition.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop ? Dr Dre.

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what is yellow with red all over tweety in a blender

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Why was the baker rich? Because he had a lot of money

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What's worse than 100 dead babies stapled to a wall? 100 live babies stapled to the wall!!!

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Dead babies can't paint.

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Q: What do a hockey coach and a bar stool have in common? A: because seven ATE nine

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What do you call it when you take cheese that isn't yours? Stolen bitch, your under-arrest!

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rofl lol, the joke below me has made my computer offer to translate this page. It thinks it's in Spanish

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What's the worst joke ever? Justin Bieber.

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Q: Why was the math book sad? A: Because he recently found out that his parents died in a tragic car accident.

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How do you get a chicken to cross the road? Get him in the other side

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what is green an invisible? this cabbage

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A dyslexic man into bar walks a.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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''Hey, this is absolutely true. There's an organization now called 'Draft Dick Cheney for President, 2012.' Yeah. Good luck with that. They tried to draft Dick Cheney five times during Vietnam. That didn't work.

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three people come to a serial killers house. one was annoying one was immature and one was stupid he would put them all in the same boat. then he towed it into shark infested waters, sunk it and watched them speak their mind. the annoying one said "nah nah nuh boo boo you cant eat me!" the immature one said "im gonna ride one!" and the stupid one said "could you please tell your sharks to stop eating my leg? i need it to swim away from these sharks that are eating my leg." moral of the story: dont go to serial killers homes. they will most likely kill you.

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Three black men walk into a bar. One of the men, having recently reached sobriety, opts not to commence in the consumption of alcohol. The other two, impressed by his level of restraint, decide to leave the bar and take the initiative to turn their lives around for the better.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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