A man walks into a bar, sits down and talks to the woman sitting next to him. The woman took out a cigarette, and offered one to the man. The man said yes, even though he never smoked before, because he was trying to get with the woman. They smoked a few more before the woman left, and the man left shortly after. The man became a chain smoker and died 1 year later from lung cancer caused by smoking multiple packs a day.

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Q: What's blue and smells like grass? A: Blue grass.

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A Muslim and 2 French people walked into a bar They start to have a nice conversation about Charlie Hebdo

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How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? 17.

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Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I felt like kicking something.

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what is the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

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where did little suzie go during 9/11 EVERYWHERE...

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Caramel Boing.

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poo

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Why did the police officer decide to eat a donut? Because he was slightly hungry, but a meal seemed too much for him.

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what's worse than failing a test? having your house burnt down

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My friend just phoned me from the Boston marathon. He was being taken to the hospital due to being injured by the explosions and had to have his leg amputated.

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Why is this site popular? Because people don't read the terms of service.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Two parrots were sitting next to each other. One parrot said "hey" The other parrot replied "hey" therefore making the first parrot say "hey" which made the other parrot say "hey" again making the... this conversation, comprised of just one word lasted a very long time. aproximately 16749 hours.

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Wanna hear the most repeated joke on anti jokes? Why did [insert name here] fall off the swing? Because he/she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not [insert name here].

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What's the difference in a big brother and a wee brother? Ones big, ones small.

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Why was the boy mentally retarded? Because his mother was a tree

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roses are red you are dumb no one will care when you die

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What do you call an African man with no legs? Murderer

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What´s Green and turns Red at your Finger Tips? Frog in a Blender.

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What does a casino have in common with a woman liqur in the front, and poker in the back

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What did the homeless man say to the man who gave him change? “Mmmm I sure do love pocket lint”

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops