A baby seal walks into a bar... The bartender looks at it and says: too young.

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Your mom is so fat shes having trouble getting into her own pants.

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What do you get when you cross a lamb and a pigeon? You get your house taken away.

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Why was the kid late for his dentist appointment? He was abducted and he's been missing for thirteen days

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A jew walks into a church. he wishes to be touched by God.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Tie her down and plant a bamboo seed under her.

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hi dave

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roses are red violets are blue im much younger than i look;)

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a guy was waiting for his date, then she arrived and they went happily to the cinema

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Why was 6 afraid of 12? Because 12 used to beat up 6 and now 6 has a restraining order against 12. 12 has to stay at least 5 numbers away from 6.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, the holocaust didn't actually happen, besides I hate jews

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What does DNA stand for? The National Association of Dislexics.

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Why did the car cross the road? Isn't that what cars do?

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a piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender says “sorry we dont serve your kind here” so the string goes outside twists himself round and ruffles up one of his ends then walks back into the bar, the bartender says “aren’t you the piece of string i just kicked out?” the string then replies “i’m a frayed knot”

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why did sally drown cause she was black

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i killed my family

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a woman gets hit by a motorcycle whose fault was it?......... the man's, he shouldn't have driven the motorcycle in the kitchen

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Q: Why couldn' the muslim eat pork? A: Because he had been raped and killed by a giant scorpion.

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Your mom is so poor that her boobs are real.

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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How do you starve a black man?.........take away his food!!

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to

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what do you call some one with no arms and no legs? names.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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